Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave
The story behind this. I had to do a Julius's Caesar Project last year. It's about journal entries from Brutus. I got an F because it was so blatantly perverted and sexual. Timmy did pretty much everything and I put in stuff here and there. I think there is 5 Acts and a letter I had to pretend to write, not sure. Well Enjoy.
Act One
So I was eating a banana sandwich today, and out of the blue Cassius started persuading me to kill Caesar. So I was all like “what’s burnin your grill, playa?” During all this, I just wanted to see the sport event that was getting seen. It was to be a rousing day at the event. Rousing to the highest degree. So I was discussing things with Cassius once again, and I find out that Caesar fell down and had a seizer. After talking about how Flavius and Martullus have been put in jail for taking down Caesars decorations. Later on Cicero kept talking about bad omens. Bad omens really aren’t very good, you know? Not valid in the slightest. Once I saw a bad omen, it was quite disagreeable. In fact, it scared me so much that I ate another banana sandwich. But that is another story entirely and is filled with much objectionable content, so back to bad omens we go. Well, once my mother told me “Son, bad omens are not very good at all.” Maybe it was my father, but I think he was too old. It might have been my brother even. Neither of them liked bad omens. Can you think of anyone who likes bad omens? I think not! Any who, the bad omens that Circeo described was night owls coming to the market place at noon. It doesn't sound too bad to me. Not bad enough to eat a banana sandwich at least. A lion in the capital, and men on fire but not burning. Well, the senate wants Caesar to be king everywhere except Italy. That’s not very good at all, in my opinion of course. But I can’t just kill Caesar because of it. Or can I? Maybe. I don’t Italy very much actually. Too Italian, quite frankly. They go all around and say “oh i’m italian i’m so cool i eat pizza and make meatballs” but you know what, I never liked pizza that much. Give me a banana sandwich and I’m set thanks you very much! I’m thinking more and more now that Cassius is right, but I can’t go and be a bad person. This reminds me of the time and we were children and we had to pick teams to play four square, and no one wanted to pick Caesar, so I said “Caesar is my best friend and if he doesn't play I don’t play.” It was a brave stand. But anyway, I never got to play and maybe Cassius is right. Except about four square that is. His four square tactics were question able at best. But can I really betray me best friend? Only time will tell, may the Gods guide me in the right direction.
Act Two
So I was dreaming about making pottery the other day, which by the way is just too awesome. One day someone asked me “Do you want some pot?” and I said “I hope you’re refering to pottery” and he said “Of course!” So I said “boy howdy that sounds just dandy to me.” But anyway, I awoke from this pottery dream and men in white hoods came to my door. Then I realized they were my good friends, the conspirators. They were all together, though, like a hord. We all talked about the plan to kill Ceasar, and in the end it was decided that he must go down. Right then and there, I lost my fate it seems, and a new leaf was turned the otherway. The way for Rome. But under that leaf was a rock. And under that rock was a knife, and under that knife was a piece of pottery. I knew the pottery was telling me “Kill Ceasar!” But how could I? My true passions in life were Ceasar and pottery, but I had to kill Ceasar. After the conspirators were gone, my wife asked me to tell her what was going on. I love her dearly, but of course as a woman she is inferior to me. She protested though, and stabbed herself in the thigh, and said “see i’m strong” so I told her that we were going to kill Ceasar and told her “If you tell anyone that you’re not a real man, you’re woman ...” then I shook my fist in rage. Daylight broke, and it was time for me to come. To Ceasar’s place. Boy he had quite the comfortable couch. I could sit on that couch all day, eating my banana sandwhiches and making pottery. Word around the house was Ceasar’s wife had had a bad dream, and it was about Ceasar about to die. She told Ceasar to stay, but the man he was said no. Then he decided that he would stay. Then Decius persuaded him not to stay. He’s quite the talker you know. He could talk anyone into anything. Once he talked my good friend into eating chicken pot pie. Now that’s something. I really don’t like chicken pot pie. It’s too chickeny. Not only that, but it’s too piey too. I’m a vegitarian actually. I feel it’s the humane thing to do and I’m, a good, nice person! At the end we were all ready to go to the Senate. Rest assured, we didn’t need a clock or sundial. We all knew what time it was .... time to kill. Wait, I said to myself, we have to wait a little longer. Let’s savor this moment, and wait till we’re in the senate it’s self. It was for the good of Rome! At least, that’s what I though it was ... at the time.
Act Three
We did it. By Gods we finally did it! We finally killed Caesar. We finally destroyed the tyranny that might have been. We saved Rome yet again. To think, all in all, I killed my best friend. I hope this is the right thing to do. I hope to the Gods it is. But these words will haunt me until the day I take my last breath: “Et Tu Brute?” Why did he have to say those words? Of all things why? But my decision has been made; the deed done. Again, I hope that what I did was right. Antony soon found out, and I said that no harm would be done to him. So we met. I told him that I did it for the good of Rome. He asked for what cause. I said due to his excess ambition, and then told him that he is allowed to speak to the people, but do not speak anger towards us, who gave him permission to talk. On one more condition - I had to give my speech first. You see, I’m quite the orator. They say I work quite well with my tongue. Some say that massive crowds have been known to squeal with delight when they see my mouth move. There was once a little girl who was listening to my speech, and she just couldn’t take her eyes off my mouth, as it contorted into shapes that infinitely pleased her. I think her mother, and her father even, felt the same way. I said my speech, and the crowd seemed to like it. But then Antony spoke, and the FICKLE crowd swayed his way. He followed all the guidelines I told him, no doubt about that, but the FICKLE crowd still sided with him. I had to flee, knowing that a civil war will soon break, and return to Cassius and warn him as well. The mob was so moved by Antony’s speech, that they killed Brutus the poet, just because he had my name. They spat and told him he was terrible, he pointed out many times that he was not Brutus the conspirator, but the poet, but then they said “I don’t care, and besides YOUR POETRY SUCKS!” and killed him. And right there I knew that what I did disrupted Rome quite so. And then questioned that if what I did for Rome, really helped it? I’m questioning what I did. I question a lot of things, actually. Like the time I had to choose between vanilla and strawberry ice cream. They both looked quite tantalizing, but in the end I went with chocolate. It is a choice I deeply regret even to this day. And I’ll never have that recipe again.
Act Four
The time has come to fight! The civil war has broken, and I must regain my forces with Cassius. I already know that Octavous and Antony are together. Ceasar’s wife couldn’t have any children, so Octavius is the closest male relative Ceasar ever had, and the people will think of that as an authoritive power of trust and they are a force to reckon with. I wish it didn’t end up like this, I thought it was good for Rome. Gods why did you do this to me. Times like these I like to go off and play my harp. I’ve always wanted to become a famous harp player. I’ve written a song dedicated to my love of pottery, it’s called “pottery” and I think it’s quite snazzy to tell the truth. I find myself to be a pretty swank harp player. The swankiest swankster is swankstown. I was in a band once and had a really rocking harp solo. On a more intense note, to be honest, I don’t think Antony is going this as much as for revenge, but more for Ceasar’s power. I think that this was his plan all along. Why didn’t I see this before? I should’ve killed him when I had the chance. But would that have helped? It didn’t help when I killed Ceasar. Am I the true criminal here? I’m so confused. There are all these different feelings I’m getting. I don’t understand what’s going on inside of me. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know who I want. Maybe I wanted Ceasar all along. Everyone liked him, and I just said “If I can’t have him, no one can!” I’m the jelous type, and the honorable one as well, but I don’t know which one took a hold of me then. Cassius swayed me with his deep, penatrating eyes and tore right through to my very soul, and his body motions just drove me over the top. Maybe it was Cassius’s ambition to get a hold of me. I just don’t understand! Is everyone fighting over me ... or am I fighting over everyone else? And to think the only person who ever loved me, my wife, is dead! I thought I was a real man, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe she was more of a man then me. But she’s gone now, and she’s never coming back. Except in my dreams. But she is not the only one who haunts my dreams, Ceasar, in his flowing robe of gold walks into my mind and dazzles me with his fluid motions. He told me that he would meet with me yet again. Maybe I’ll find two people I love. But I digress - I think I was wrong.
Act Five
It is decided. I am to die on this field, this very field I say! Am I a hero? Did I fight for the noble cause? Is what I did to Ceasar the real right for Rome? I saw maybe and maybe not. But in a way, I think I did. In my own way I thought I did. I was there to save Democracy. Equality. Trust for for the common man, what our forefathers fought for. But I feel the demons of the world have been put against me, by the demon Cassius. My downfall. I thought that the people would love me, praise me, adore me. Shower me with gold! Eat out of my hand! But no, they shunned me, just like the time my cat tried to run away from me because I didn’t feed it the kibbles it so desperately needed. d**n Cassius, d**n Cassius to hell. That stupid, big headed man him! He killed himself, he killed himself on the battle field that coward! But I guess it’s better than being captured, and paradeded around like an animal. In that same dicision as him, I took my life with the same dagger, which was smothered in the most holiest of blood of Ceasar and killed myself with it. I won’t delve into how I am writing this after my death, as it is a useless topic, and the novelty of such things has warn off several entries ago. So many people died because of my decision. So many people were hurt because of my decision. So much pain has been caused because of my, one, dicision. In the end was I right? It dosn’t matter anyway now, does it? I am dead. To be honest, I don’t know what Antony thinks of me now, and again, does it really even matter? But in all honesty though, I think that in some part of his heart he feels, that he respected me as a hero. Because I am the only one who did not fight for ambition, but for protecting the restoration of our most glorious nation of Rome. And in the end that is what I did, it was my disicion, be it bad or good. It was just me and my decision. Well, now that I’m in heavan, I can finally meet with Ceasar now and my lovely, muscular wife. We both had a dinner party last night, and it continued long into the early hours of the morning. When I woke up I could hardly recognize what was what and who was who. But boy howdy. that was some night I suppose. Why couldn’t this have been reality in the world? Why couldn’t I wake up next to Ceasar every morning, and go to sleep with my large, bulky wife every night? This could have all be prevented if I just didn’t kill Ceasar. It could have been a party every night, but because of my one dicision it all failed - that party will never light up again.
Brutus Letter To Wife After Seeing Ceasar For The First Time
Dear wife,
I earn to be in your strong, powerful arms again, so you can squeez me tight and hold me close long after the morning sun rises. With your thick, muscular thighs, I could spend all of eternity in your embrace. But, I must say, my love for you has been in question lately. You see, I saw a man today who completely blew my mind. He reminded me of you quite frankly, with your many motions and what not, and his name, is Ceasar. He moved in such a way that I could hardly keep my eyes off of him, and when my eyes were able to stray away from his captivating body, he was on my mind. But how could he ever compair to you, with you dark eyes and your chisled good looks. I was having my oats and meal (editor’s note: an old ceareal-likefood very similar to the modern day lucky charms) Ceasar’s relationship sucks, he goes for the Egyptian chicks and his reql wife can’t even bear children, but you got all that stuff down, hon. You’re so awesome. You make the best food ever. Men from far and wide come from all over the place to eat what you’ve got. They just want to eat everything about you. But I know that when they all leave, and you focus your cooking attention on me, I’ll be eating more than they could ever even imagine. When I get home, I’m gonna eat a whole barrel of what you got, and then I’m lick the plate clean. You have no idea how I long for you. How long as it been, and how long of a distance are we apart. It just seems too long to bear. Being with you keeps me tight and warm, in ways only you can do. Ceasar can’t do it. Cassius can’t do it. Only you can do it, and you do it better than anyone’s ever done it before.
Fake Letter To Brutus From A Government Offcial Pretending To Be A Roman Citizen
Dear Brutus,
Ceasar is much too power. You’re just such an awesomer guy. He’s such a loser, and I’d chill with you over him any day of the week! You’re just so killer rad and Ceasar is an overratted loser. Did you hear that he dosn’t even wear underwear? At first I thought it was quite provocitive, but now I thinks it’s just sick. I had to sit in the same chair as him the other day, and I was cautious to say the least. He likes the most boring plays, and you like all the cool plays, you’re like, the most cool play dude ever. Ceasar’s horse is so old. You’re horse is really fast. His ambitions are bad, what with invading things an all, that’s totally not cool. Your ambitions are awesome, you just wanna party and boogy down like a groovy dude. He wants to take over all of Rome. But what about the really cool parts of Rome? He’ll really take all the culture out of all the cool parts of Rome. You’ll be making those places rockin, sockin, hip-hopin! How can you trust a man who marries an Egyptian, I think there’s mixed intentions there. You have such a wonderfull wife. Strong, powerful, manly. His wife couldn’t even bare a child. Whats up with that!? Two people I trust in this entire world are Cassius and you, Brutus. But you’re totally the awesomer dude. You play a mean rockin harp, and make some bangin pottery. And I’ve never seen anyone scarf down a banana sandwich like you! You sure do enjoy the finer things in life, Brutus, and you know how to live em! So pleeease Brutus, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease do it. Not only for me, but for all of Rome. Only your greatness can surpass everything. You can do it the best and everyone knows it! So do it how you do it! Do it for me and do it for the people! Just do it all day every day, and things’ll be all funky cool.
