It's a pity that I missed this thread before you announced that you wrote the first post as a joke, because I probably would have had a field day explaining why your post was pretty damn unlikely to be true. Or maybe I wouldn't've, because Hicky and God managed to sum the reasons up pretty well.
i got some bad news 4 everyone.while we were in west virginia, white water rafting, she (Bluebabe kitten) "accidently" droped her paddle so while everyone way paying attenction 2 it, i watched her flip bk off the raft. we were in a class 5 rapid at the time.the highest is a class 6. but b4 any1 had the chance 2 get her, she waz sucked under a rock. our guide said if anyone tried 2 help her, the same would happen 2 them. we tried 2 wait as long as we could 4 her, but she never came out... im srry if anyone was close,best (etc) friends with her