have you ever had this feeling
where you become fully aware that you're you?
ok, by which i mean:
you suddenly become conscious of the fact of your consciousness. that it isn't something to be taken for granted, that out of all the people or things whose experiences you could be the subject of, you of all the bodies you could inhabit or not inhabit, you're YOU and there's no way it could ever be different, and really no way you could conceive of something else. whatever 'consciousness' is you have it and you experience subjective feelings and events, and you feel sort of placed outside of consciousness. i dont know how to explain it, but i think if anyone else has had it they understand. its really weird. i have it, say, maybe once a year or so for a brief spell. it's actually very disconcerting, almost actually terrifying to me, so whenever i feel a 'spell' of it coming on i try to think about something else. i bring this up because i had it for a moment while i was laying down this morning.