"My gift of self is raped"
Such a powerful lyric, those feels hit hard. A lot of people I've seen talking about Nutshell think it's about suicide because of the lyrics "If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead." I think what he's getting at is that he feels broken somehow. He can't give his "gift of self" because it has been "raped", it's damaged or poisoned. Whoever it's given to, he's afraid it's going to taint them. Unable to love or be loved, he can't even love himself, which is why he says he can never "be my own." Of course the fact that his "privacy is raked" just means all his dark secrets are pulled into the spotlight for all to see, compounding the problem.
I think that's the crux of a lot of the depression problems I've felt lately. I feel broken, I don't love myself and I don't want others to love me, afraid to connect with anyone because my flaws might get in the way. I suppose that's better than pretending I'm okay and using/hurting everyone in my life, but in the end, it just leaves me with "no one to cry to."
I feel a lot of discomfort with myself lately.