except its not yes, sir
its yes, and then there is an emotional pause, and he says, yes dad.
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except its not yes, sir
its yes, and then there is an emotional pause, and he says, yes dad.
dramatic pauses are essential in every good novel
but it is of great consequence to the story that his dad was a deadbeat
a parole officer does not scream deadbeat
there will be an entire half a page blankQuote:
Originally Posted by Mex
damn right there will be
tim if hicky refuses to cooperate then you mex and i can just write this novel ourselves >:(
im not refusing to cooperate
then agree with is this instant!
im already writing it!
there also needs to be a warden who has burns on his face and resents the prisoner
the prisoner is not troublesome enough to warrant resent
geez guys do i have to write this myself?
this is just nocturne, god.
Give us a sample text Hicky
Well then how about him and the warren were in the same class as schoolboys and were fierce rivals.Quote:
Originally Posted by God
the prisoner didnt have time for school rivalries he was too busy stealing
then how about this. Although he was a good thief and stole a lot, when he got put in the slammer, the warden set him up for it.
what no way
if he got set up, that would total be counterintuitive to him having a trouble crime filled life and having to turn his life around
there will be no counter intuitions in this novel
He still stole all of the stuff, but the guy set him up by telling the FUZZ about where he was going. GEEZ, learn how to draw conclusions.
there doesnt need to be a criminal sidestory
its a novel about cleansing the heart
So...As a young boy (with a horrid past) steals to survive (nothing like a Wii or a PS3...right?) get's thrown in juvinile hall, grows up being hateful to all law enforcement...is interested in the football team, gets parolled...plays the game and wins...blah blah blah*...the end...
The lead role needs a name...I'll write the rest...
*not intended to be an insult...
NO. NO NO NO NO NO
No stealing!
I dub thee, book..."Copped Out".
Way too cheesy. It needs to be attention grabbing without going over the edge