Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 73

Thread: Qoorl's Big Workplace Storytime

  1. #1
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default Qoorl's Big Workplace Storytime

    Allright, so a few people have asked about my job. "Qoorl, what do you do?" "Qoorl, do you ever get a little T&A for the TA?" "Qoorl do you drink on the job?" etc.... so I'm here to pass along a few of my educator tales as well as well as answer whatever questions you field. Of course due to contractual obligations the names will be changed to protect the er... innocent.

    We'll talk about ElleJae first... he probably provides some of the best stories in the shortest amount of time. He just came here this year, a Katrina transplant... to be specific, he just came her this year from a mental institution and he's been back there on and off again. Well.. Ellejae is a pudgy little black guy with a very effeminate voice and loooooooong fingernails. Here's a few snippits of dialogue from our favorite straight jacket jocky.


    ElleJae: We always pick up all the stray animals in our neighborhood. We have about 200 hundred animals in our house right now. We have some dogs and some cats and an elephant.

    ----------------------

    ElleJae: I can't wait till I get home. Kiikii and I will take a bath. (Kiikii is his dog)

    BobtheStraightman: YOU take a bath with your DOG?!

    ElleJae: Tsk, NO! My KiiKii is much to precious to take a bath in a regular tub, she has her own special little dog tub.

    ---------------------------

    ElleJae: I can't wait till I get home. KiiKii and I will talk on our cell phones.

    BobtheStraightman: How does your DOG talk on a cellphone?

    ElleJae: duh, she uses the little claws on the end of her paws and she presses the buttons with them, and then she barks into the phone. That's how she talks to all her little dog friends.

    -------------------------------

    ElleJae: I HATE Spanish. When I was in New Orleans I had a Spanish class, and the first day of school I walked in the door and she said 'Lemor you have to write a thirteen page paper and it has to be written in Spanish, and English and Japanese and Paris' and I said 'Woman, I can't do that, I don't know Japanese or Paris!" and she said 'You have three choices, either you can write that paper, or you can quit school, or I can beat you up' and I said 'I'm not writing nothing in no Paris or Japanese or Spanish and you just try and touch me woman and see what I do' and she tried to hit me but she missed and fell down and I stomped on her head.

    --------------------------------

    Whenever he gets upset he flips over all the desks. He draws pictures of families of girls, and sometimes calls himself Kristle. Once when the teacher I work with got him REALLy mad, he wrote on the white board 'You are the worst teacher I have ever had and I would be afraid if I was you that I would Murder you" and then he drew a stick man cutting the teacher in half with a chain saw, complete with blood splatter. He went away for a few days after that.
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  2. #2
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default

    On an unrelated note, I just got some non PD related RP news that has left me seething with anger. Trying to decide if I'm petty enough to attempt to wreak bloody vengeance or not. I'd like to say that no I'm bigger than that... but as crappy as things have been going (Our water pump quit working last night so I had to walk through the fog and darkness at five o clock this morning to my parents house just to get a shower for starters) I'm feelin pretty much like that Alice Cooper song right about now...
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  3. #3
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hilbert Space
    Posts
    11,174

    Default

    Wow.

    1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89 144 233 377 610 987 1597 2584 4181 6765

  4. #4
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    20,994

    Default

    Ha ha ha ha h ha hah ah ah a

    Why couldn't I have had shit like that in my class? All we had were obnoxious socially incompetent nerds and wannabe gangsta kids that used to call me Superman

  5. #5
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default

    I've also got Cedric. Who isn't nearly as crazy as ElleJae is but he's good to have around. I've had him in my class for three years (he didn't quite move on to 7th last year) I have to arm wrestle him every day, have to match him in push ups everyday, and he's not too bright and he's not very big, but he's a strong little cuss. One of the 6th grade teachers always says I need to claim him as a dependent on my taxes. He has a bit of a speech problem and he has a bad habit of zoning out... staring off into space and drooling a little.
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  6. #6
    [Original title goes here] ninja's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    816

    Default

    Dude has an elephant.
    Best watch yo'self.
    :yes:

  7. #7
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default

    BobTheStraightMan transitioned out of our class, but he was a class act too. Also from New Orleans... his first day at school, he wanted to go to the bathroom and another kid says "Hold on a second, there's way to many people in there" so Bob broke the other kids nose.

    NExt day we got his evaltuation papers from his old school, "Extreme Caution, very violent, possible acess to weapons" he moved down here to avoid being killed by a rival gang.

    He calmed down a bit after a while and is a relatively functioning member of the student populous again.
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  8. #8
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    20,994

    Default

    Ha ha ha ha hh a, Cedric

    I love these names

  9. #9
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default

    Stradivarius and Jemaar are very similar. Both are really skinny short little black guys. Stradivarius stayed in school though and Jemaar... didn't so much. I mean yes we still teach him but... he tried to strangle the principal several times, we have to call the police once or twice a week because he runs away and we aren't allowed to stop him... and he won't do anything. So... Another teacher and I have to drive to his house for an hour ever day and try to teach him as much as we can....

    Stradivarius on the other hand can be very smart, and he can behave really well if he REALLY wants too.. he just has a ferocious temper and no attention span. He finally pushed the new EMD teacher over the limit...

    Stradi wouldn't do any work, so the New Guy said okay, well I'll call your parents, and Stradi says 'go ahead i'll just tell everybody you're lying' well NewGuy goes over there kneels down beside him and puts his hand on Stradi's shoulder, "You are not going to call me a liar" well Stradivarius freaks out because he can be a worhtless little punk, and so he pushes this 60 something year old man down... they both fall over, behind the little divider, and BOOM, New EMD Guy has both of Stradivarius's arms pinned down, and Stradi is crying and kicking and screaming and begging and cussing and threatening, and that old guy just holds him there until the assistant principal comes... well, Stradivarius was out of the room being talked to for about...an hour before he was back in... No real punishment... cuz here's the thing. Our class is where kids get sent AFTER they get kicked out of Alternative school! Stradivarius got kicked out of Alternative after about two weeks... and Jemaar's psychotic little self was sent home the first day....
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  10. #10
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hilbert Space
    Posts
    11,174

    Default

    I don't know how you do it, man.

    1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89 144 233 377 610 987 1597 2584 4181 6765

  11. #11
    [Original title goes here] ninja's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    816

    Default

    I demand that you set up a hidden camera in your classroom.
    The results will be the stuff of legend.
    :yes:

  12. #12
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    among the people
    Posts
    49,753

    Default

    i wanna hear the stories about the junior high girls

  13. #13
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    retarded
    Posts
    13,989

    Default

    she tried to hit me but she missed and fell down and I stomped on her head.
    Hahahahaha.

  14. #14
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hilbert Space
    Posts
    11,174

    Default

    That guy would terrify me

    1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89 144 233 377 610 987 1597 2584 4181 6765

  15. #15
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default

    Gotta go get some pizza... be back later y'all.
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  16. #16
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    20,994

    Default

    Stradivarius sounds like a greek god, like the greek god of basketball shoes or something

  17. #17
    To all the girls that wanna join my tribe, just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe Echolalia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,459

    Default

    Nike?
    Quote Originally Posted by Octazooka View Post
    globs of wet snow raining on me

  18. #18
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    20,994

    Default

    Basketball shoes are named after Nike, not the other way around

  19. #19
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    among the people
    Posts
    49,753

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qoorl View Post
    Gotta go get some pizza... be back later y'all.
    with the junior high girls?

  20. #20
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Pokedream
    Posts
    7,741

    Default

    Well.. I'll give the lineup for the junior high girls since God's so interested...

    There's about four tall skinny black girls... one nerdly lil black girl, one SUPER hefty black girl that gets on my nerves, one semisped girl I taught last year that everyone thinks is a lesbian, (Cedric claims he saw her kissing another girl in this class but he's not terribly reliable), a short bad tempered black girl that is the brother of James (He deserves his own post), two big boned white girl twins, a biyatchy wannabe goth who's more than a little slutty, and a little sporty blonde country girl.

    Mostly they just eat and have food fights and then I drop em off at their class. I did break up one fight though which was fun.

    Heh, funny story, before my momma was the secretary she was a kindergarten assistant. It was right after I graduated, one of those tall skinny black girls was in her class, and I showed up in shorts, and she started pettin my leg and saying "Ooh you furry!"
    JOIN AN RP YOU SLACKERS!

  21. #21
    To all the girls that wanna join my tribe, just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe Echolalia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,459

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mario The Black Knight View Post
    Basketball shoes are named after Nike, not the other way around
    I'm aware of that Mario, but I was just saying the general idea of a Greek god(dess) having its name related to basketball shoes was kinda already taken
    Quote Originally Posted by Octazooka View Post
    globs of wet snow raining on me

  22. #22
    *Fwing* PokeMasterSean13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In the fields, there to tend and wait for the lost.
    Posts
    2,008

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qoorl View Post
    Well.. I'll give the lineup for the junior high girls since God's so interested...

    There's about four tall skinny black girls... one nerdly lil black girl, one SUPER hefty black girl that gets on my nerves, one semisped girl I taught last year that everyone thinks is a lesbian, (Cedric claims he saw her kissing another girl in this class but he's not terribly reliable), a short bad tempered black girl that is the brother of James (He deserves his own post), two big boned white girl twins, a biyatchy wannabe goth who's more than a little slutty, and a little sporty blonde country girl.

    Mostly they just eat and have food fights and then I drop em off at their class. I did break up one fight though which was fun.

    Heh, funny story, before my momma was the secretary she was a kindergarten assistant. It was right after I graduated, one of those tall skinny black girls was in her class, and I showed up in shorts, and she started pettin my leg and saying "Ooh you furry!"
    The goth and the blonde are like "slow" though right. And if so, how is a "slow" girl a slut. I mean isn't it illegal to fuck those things?

    Rest in peace pap-pap.


  23. #23
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    among the people
    Posts
    49,753

    Default

    qoorl fucks who he wants, when he wants

  24. #24
    *Fwing* PokeMasterSean13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In the fields, there to tend and wait for the lost.
    Posts
    2,008

    Default

    I'm not even gonna go there. He could get fired like mad fast.

    Rest in peace pap-pap.


  25. #25
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    20,994

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Echolalia View Post
    I'm aware of that Mario, but I was just saying the general idea of a Greek god(dess) having its name related to basketball shoes was kinda already taken
    Not at the time, I mean Nike is the greek goddess of Victory, Stradivarius would actually be the greek god who walked around in a pair of Air Force Ones making fun of everyone else wearing sandles, and who would be in charge of basketball shoes althoughout greese

    Needless to say, Stradivarius was pissed when he heard they named the shoe company after Nike and not him

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •