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Thread: Epic Fantasy using the Cast of PD - Beta

  1. #51
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    ((Nah, not by a long shot, Just my internet screwed up and I lost the page I had typed... I'll make it up later and post it... I've got a ton of material))
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  2. #52
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    Edward Nocturnis approached the village square, flanked by a pair of halberd wielding honor guards. Unlike Adamant Totality, Captain Nocturnis disdained armor. It was unusual due to his rather portly figure, anyone would think hima fool for not wearing armor, out of shape as he was. That was actually what Edward wanted people to think.

    He was barred from his path by a small group of villagers. Nocturnis frowned as he looked them over. True this had been his hometown once but he did have a duty.

    "I will ask you once to step aside," he said, betraying not a hint of emotion, "This is my hometown and I do have some nostalgia toward the place, however I will not hesitate to destroy it if you will not comply. I only want the psychotic killer you harbor, the governor won't even be informed of your... discrepency."

    "Oh, give it a rest, Edward!" came a voice from within the common grounds. Peaches appeared, striding up to the captain. She stood toe to toe with him, even though she had to look up to see into his eyes. Her own eyes, wide and exotic held a determined look.

    "Why would we house any sort of psycopath, much less an enemy of the government?" she demanded, "Our village has always been dutiful in their tax payments and there have been no murmerings of rebellion or disent. We aren't so stupid as to bring the wrath of the army down on our heads."

    "Peaches, I know you to well," Nocturnis said, concealing a hint of a smile as he looked into her eyes, they WERE intoxicating, "You were always the first to bring in and mend back to health any wild animal that came wounded near the village. My sources have told me that the man I seek was wounded and headed in this direction. What's more I have a sorcerer with me that has confirmed that Mars was here. Now step aside, I don't want anyone to get hurt here." He put a hand on Peaches's shoulder, to gently move her out of the way.

    "Get your damned hands off of her, you worthless trash!" yelled a voice. Mars stood in the doorway of a nearby hut. His chest was still bear, save for the bloodstained bandages, but he wielded the zhanmadao with deadly intent as he moved toward the crowd, murder in his eyes.

    At last, some sport, Nocturnis thought, as he pushed the girl aside. He relished the feel in his hands as his sabre slid free from it's sheathe. Giving his guards a signal to wait, he charged forward, the blades of the opponent's clashing together in a shower of sparks. That battle strangely enough seemed evenly matched. Nocturnis's sabre was evidently well made as it withstood the onslaught of Mars's greater strength and massive blade. And MArs was suprised at the speed of the copulent army officer he faced off against. But still, Mars had been fighting a long time, and he was certain that he was one of the greatest fighters on the entire continent, much less the province. He pressed the attack and it seemed soon that the captain would be crushed.

    Suddenly, Mars's wounds began to take their toll. Fresh blood spots appeared on the bandages and his strength began to wane. He faltered for a moment, and Nocturnis saw his chance. He slashed out with the sabre, aimed high at his enemy's chest.

    Then, before he could stop, Peaches was there. She shoved Mars back and he stumbled, crashing onto the dirt. The blade flashed, biting into her face, just above her nose. There was a spurt of blood and she dropped to the ground, hands covering the spot where he beautiful eyes had once been.

    "No," Nocturnis whispered and took a step back. He sheathed his weapon, not even wiping clean the blade. He started to shake and his face went pale. Mars attempted to rise, but he was too weak and his head crashed back to the ground.

    "You have twenty four hours," Edward announced, his voice close to breaking, "Tend to your wounded. I will return this time tomorrow. Turn over Mars or I will raze this city to the ground." He turned and strode away, shaking his head and breathing heavily. The two guards with him followed silently. In moments, they were out of sight of the village.
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  3. #53
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    ((Don't forget, feel free to leave me feedback))
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  4. #54
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    ((NEXT - Mars and the people of Peaches' village face off against the army contigent. There will be violence!))
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  5. #55
    I like cereal. Star's Avatar
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    So is Peaches blind now? It's good, I like it.

    btw, who are Peaches and Mars based on anyway?

  6. #56
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    that chapter was the SHIT

  7. #57
    To all the girls that wanna join my tribe, just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe Echolalia's Avatar
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    That was really good writing. Nice job Qoorl. I didn't even mind the fat jokes. But I don't understand why I seem to have a conflict with Pichubro?
    Quote Originally Posted by Octazooka View Post
    globs of wet snow raining on me

  8. #58
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    you obviously have a complicated past with pichubro, you buffoon

  9. #59
    To all the girls that wanna join my tribe, just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe Echolalia's Avatar
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    But I really don't. We've never interacted on anything more than a topical level, and as far as that has gone, she's always seemed cool. There's no conflict between us that I'm aware of
    Quote Originally Posted by Octazooka View Post
    globs of wet snow raining on me

  10. #60
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    it is a fantasy story written with pd characters, there will be some artistic license involved you cunt

  11. #61
    To all the girls that wanna join my tribe, just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe Echolalia's Avatar
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    not knockin' qoorl's writing skills, they're the shit, just puzzled you asshole
    Quote Originally Posted by Octazooka View Post
    globs of wet snow raining on me

  12. #62
    Defenestration is imminent pichubro's Avatar
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    check it guys, I'm blind

  13. #63
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
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    99% Of this stuff would be totally different, this is just how Qoorl writes, it's his story. Like our first meeting would have ended in your quick, immediate death, And Pichubro would never be harmed because she's omnipetent, and there are a million other incorrect details, but this is Qoorl's story, so he's going to write it the way he wants to. Stop bitching

  14. #64
    Defenestration is imminent pichubro's Avatar
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    I told him he could do that to me. No harm done.

  15. #65
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
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    Well, I mean like, you are in reality unharmable, immortal, but he wrote your character as a mortal being, so it make sense that way, but yeahh

  16. #66
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    ((Okay... I might post the next part of this Legendary undertaking in a bit, but for now.. here's another teaser trailer... part of the tentative cast list...))

    God - Thymm, revolutionary idealist

    Mario - Mars, the Black Knight of the Order of Dreams, hotheaded elite warrior

    Pichubro - Peaches, now blind village girl who is more than what she seems

    Nocturne - Captain Edward Nocturnis, a model officer in the provincial army.
    He doesn't know it yet, but big changes are coming for him.

    Fullmetal - Adamant Totality, by the book general and leader of the provincial
    army. Has misgivings about the Governor's tactics.

    KG - Kage, a peasant, now travelling with Thymm after the attack by the
    Seekers,

    MazdaSpeed - A humble priest of The One, travelling with Thymm.

    TeenageAnst - Tang, deccadent conspiracy theorist. Ruler of a small enclave
    of devout followers. Despises the Faith of One. His alchemists
    have created some very interesting things.

    Qoorl - Owest, The Beast King, leader of a close knit clan of savages,
    Though a self professed man of peace himself

    Solly - Suleiman the Wise, Fool King of the Savants. 'King' of a group of
    outcasts. Player of the flute, and all around annoying, but useful pawn

    Keke Le Cat - Cerras, Pirate Queen of the Isles of Pleasure

    Ripdos Cryp the Slopeheaded Moron - Ripdos, Mad Oracle of the Amazons.

    Nidogod - Nidos The Wanderin' Dude - Prophet of the One.

    Peeki - King of the Sands. A wandering ruler who has left his homeland to
    perform Seven deeds.

    Ninetails - The Lady of Death. Mysterious woman who travels with the King
    of Sands.

    Dogar - Dogarath the XIII, A war hero, fallen from grace, who now spends his
    time drinking and smoking away bad memories in a bar somewhere. If
    he could be convinced to rejoin the world, he could help change the
    tides of War.

    Xion - The Bringer of Justice. Another War Hero. He faded from the public eye
    long ago, but legendary in his time.

    Star - Astrella, a sorcerer in the provincial army. Has an insasiable desire for
    power, for she believe it is her best path to acceptance.

    Lacemaker - Another as yet unamed Oracle.

    Lord94 - Oh he's big.... and he's coming.

    GiantSquid - Nautilos, former seaman, and the finest diplomat in the Province.
    He uses his power in an attempt to curb the Governor's
    dangerous political actions.

    And Many, MANY more that I haven't fully worked into the epic scope of this grand tale.
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  17. #67
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    Ripdos, Mad Oracle of the Amazons.
    ashagshagsh

  18. #68
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    also, make the governor either neeherc or celebi

  19. #69
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
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    I love how people like Lord, star, and MAZDASPEED made it on to the list, and yet Eve is absent from the list

  20. #70
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    yeah eve should be the second main female protagonist with pichubro. devil also needs to be one of the legendary warriors like dogar and xion.

  21. #71
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    Eve will be there... I jsut haven't gotten her nailed down yet. And I'm working on Devil... paitence.
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  22. #72
    Pokemon Champion Mario The Black Knight's Avatar
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    Ahh, just giving your requested feedback

  23. #73
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    I know... thanks. And yeah, there's lots of people that need to be in there that aren't. Just have to work them in... I'll try to get the epid battle knocked out before I head to CoastCon... won't be on most of the weekend.
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  24. #74
    I like cereal. Star's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qoorl View Post
    Star - Astrella, a sorcerer in the provincial army. Has an insasiable desire forpower, for she believe it is her best path to acceptance.
    Wow I wasn't actually expecting to be in the story; it's not like I'm someone special or anything. But thanks I'm going to be coming online more often to check up on the story!

    But does Qoorl get a character in the story?

  25. #75
    To all the girls that wanna join my tribe, just move to my rhythm and feel my vibe Echolalia's Avatar
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    Attention Qoorl

    What the fuck man, you were doing really well on this
    Quote Originally Posted by Octazooka View Post
    globs of wet snow raining on me

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