Hicky's newspaper column: Bit of Brit
Rant threads... a dead style. Devil had one, Fullmetal had one, two arguable mastodons of the 'rant thread'. The rant thread is believed to date back to 1760, when James Hargreaves ranted about Adam Smith and wrote it on the thread he was spinning. Since then, the rant thread has been a staple in Britain... Samuel Pepys is believed to have converted to rant thread format after his diary was burnt and he couldn't find something more practical. The rant thread took off in the 20th Century when Alan Turing wrote binary messages to himself about how appalling the service received was. Bill Gates was a mover-and-shaker in the rant thread movement. The rant thread epidemic spread to Pokemon Dream forums somehow. Many scholars, including those of University of the Mediterranean, have tried to pinpoint how - all unsuccessfully.
The rant thread has now died. Scholars have suggested a few reasons why, namely the following:
* More in-thread ranting. Perhaps people are now less reluctant to post random shit in topics not to do with them.
* Less people who do shit.
*A GRUE ATE THEM ALL LOL (I'M FROM UNCYCLOPEDIA)
I think I can do a rant thread. I get pissed off about shit and have nobody that's willing for me to rant in their face without them using some really awful logic and making me shut up. I choose to take advantage of this forum by ranting in this thread.
Munchausen Syndrome And You
Munchausen Syndrome is diagnosed very rarely. It's diagnosis is saved for the truly mentally ill and usually the only reason it's diagnosed is because of the "Needy Customer" principle. That isn't a real economic principle, but imagine you're working in a coffee shop, and some guy says, "Hey, can I have some of your finest brewed Reishi coffee in the range of £2.10 - £2.30 and could you prepare it in exactly sixty-nine minutes? Thank you." This is what Munchhausen's is to the health care service, and thus it isn't really a serious mental condition that anybody really gives a fuck about and suicide is extremely rare in Munchausen's Syndrome (some guy told me this, unsourced).
Unfortunately, a certain invention has created an annoying dimension of Munchausen Syndrome. It's called, "The Internet". I read about this on Cracked, but disregarded it. In reality, many people on this site do it. It's called, "Imaginative Parent Bitching." There are many culprits, and I don't know why it happens. Basically, some guy will just feel overly sorry for himself and say her/his parents abuse him and get some attention and a place on the site. (S)he'll then possibly build up the process to running away, suicide, starting anew, being fostered, etc.
This practice probably stems from boyfriend and girlfriend relationships in the 70s, when you don't want your dad to embarrass your girlfriend so you tell him he is the third accomplice in the Moors Murderers so the only relationship they ever have is a few awkward glances. But with the internet it's so easy to make up random shit about yourself that 90% of people seem to do it. In reality, check out these statistics, and consider the emo population of LiveJournal - it's a majority, over 50%, I've not met much people on LiveJournal that wouldn't click 'EMO' in a 'WAT SUBCULTURE R U' quiz. These statistics aren't proportionate - and there's a key reason for it. NSPCC are scientists who can detect liars. Their realistic statistics indicate that 6% of children are abused, based on pen-and-paper analysis, and LiveJournal is a place where even the most desperate attempts at thespianism would be believed.
My dad is a factory worker, and my my mum is a supermarket clerk. They're not perfect. But I have no dogmatic beliefs pertaining to our family history that I need to follow, only my dad's Thatcherite views stemmed from a good relationship with his boss and the regular reading of Conservative Tabloids. I don't get abused. Unlike Corey Taylor, I have seen my father all from my life, can see him when ever I want, and don't need to write an acoustic song defying all my other metal shit just in lieu of my father's arrival. I live in Britain, so I'm not dying and will be subsidized no matter what happens to me. I'm not this guy. My parents are good. I'm assuming all other parents passed the line if their children have free access to the internet, and I'm sure of those teenagers that say their parents suck, a small proportion of them actually suck. And an even smaller percentage physically suck (LOOOOOL).
Why is this whole Munchausen Internet thing emerging, and what can we do to stop it? Award winning scientists say that Munchausen can not be stopped through conventional methods like ignoring or criticizing, a true scientists must step in. I'm sure government intervention into the internet will solve these problems, eventually, but until then we're going to have to be on guard for liars. We must force people to follow up parent criticisms, and threaten to go their house or say they've been to their house and their parents are nice or some shit. There is a dearth of solutions, but something must be done.