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Thread: Jesus does not want you to wash your hands.

  1. #1
    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    Default Jesus does not want you to wash your hands.

    No joke when I was in church last sunday there was a whole gospel saying how Jesus saied that the evils of the world do not come from the outside but from within. Thus he did not wash his hands. No wonder so many people in the catholic church in the dark ages.

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    I'm pretty sure that is the craziest part of the bible.

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    The Gentleman Fuhrer Pikatwo's Avatar
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    hay guyz i got a supr awsum idea! lets avoid personal hygiene cuz a charlatan with a bag of magic tricks in a 2000 year old book of dubious authenticity told me that doing so prevents teh release of a supa freaky cosmic sinful evil negative energhy that causes all teh darknes in teh world or sumthin! lololol!
    The Pikatwo Diaries ...

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    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jason854 View Post
    I'm pretty sure that is the craziest part of the bible.
    No not really actually the new testament is not crazy at all the old testament is crazy with such insaneness as turning a woman into salt because a guy looked at a burning city floodign evey thing rewarding adultry and hire a whore to sneak into a palace and kill a king. Good time back then god was a pimp.

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    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jason854 View Post
    I'm pretty sure that is the craziest part of the bible.
    No not really actually the new testament is not crazy at all the old testament is crazy with such insaneness as turning a woman into salt because a guy looked at a burning city floodign evey thing rewarding adultry and hire a whore to sneak into a palace and kill a king. Good time back then god was a pimp.

  6. #6
    Nidogod That Ho!!! Nidogod's Avatar
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    No, no, no, you're not interpretting it right...here, let this cartoon explain.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLOU...541DA4&index=9


    I live. I love. I kill. I catch Pokemons. I am content.

  7. #7
    *wink* leo33wii's Avatar
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    Default Zombie Jesus!

    I'm not an Atheist, but I'm not a Christian. I'm a Pagan!

    I believe in the Greek Pantheon, Greek Gods/Mythology, which is properly known as Hellenic.

    I've been my religion ever since I was 7 years old, so my beliefs and values are different from most Americans.
    Anyway, I believe Jesus was a myth, similar to Hercules. There might of been a person who did great things, but not what was said in the bible. A book that has been politcally modified over the past centuries, not really sure I can believe a book like that.
    BUT!-- I do think that it holds some significance if much of what was said to be a metaphore to another type of meaning. Taking the stories told in the bible as exactly for what was said can be outragous.

    Think of it this way, Little Red Riding Hood was a story to keep children from speaking to strangers. Hansel and Grettle was to warn about parents and their children of cannibalism. Sleeping Beauty was told because the Prince was a necrophiliac and the king didn't want the people of his kingdom to not accept him. Cinderella (Ashingale) was told so that people can save abused children and hopfully give them a better life.

    So if you think of the bible the same way, it can be very influentual.

    Me being a Pagan, I do the same for stories told by the Greeks. I do perform rituals for my Gods and Goddesses. But if you're really curious about my religion and why I do things, I'd rather have you send me a PM or email.

  8. #8
    [Original title goes here] ninja's Avatar
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    "Sleeping Beauty was told because the Prince was a necrophiliac and the king didn't want the people of his kingdom to not accept him."

    Holy fuck, thank you for that piece of information. I don't know why, but that's the most awesome bit of trivia I've heard in years, and no, I'm not being sarcastic.

    In return: Alice in Wonderland was written by a pedophile who took a 10 year old girl named Alice and her sisters out for "boat rides" on the lake. He often exchanged his colorful stories for sexual favors from the girls.

    That's right, I just ruined your childhood.
    :yes:

  9. #9
    Nidogod That Ho!!! Nidogod's Avatar
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    In the original Sleeping Beauty, she's not awakened by a kiss. The Prince marries her in her sleep and essentially rapes her. 9 months later, she gives birth to twins and one of the babies sucks the flax out of her finger which kept her asleep.

    Here's MY alternate ending...


    I live. I love. I kill. I catch Pokemons. I am content.

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