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Thread: I think I need some serious help.

  1. #1
    Heart of Gold, Soul of Silver. Midnight the dark Espeon's Avatar
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    Default I think I need some serious help.

    Some of you may have noticed, I haven't been here in a while, but this time it's serious, and I need help.

    I recently had a friend commit suicide and can't cope with the guilt of things unsaid. What can I do, PD? What can I do?
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    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Laugh.

  3. #3
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    It's a natural part of the grieving process and will dissipate with time. Try talking about it to them, possibly at their grave. Creepy? Yes. But sometimes its helpful.

    You need to realize it was their own decision and nothing you said/did lead up to it.

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  4. #4
    Heart of Gold, Soul of Silver. Midnight the dark Espeon's Avatar
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    Solly, your a jerk.
    Keke, I have no idea where he is buried, he was buried in private, but I went to the funeral, which kinda helped.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pants,_and_the_beast_dwelling_within View Post
    Negr O's! now with marshmallow bling and chicken!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Editor View Post
    I swear allegiance to Midnight, the coolest person ever to grace the internet :D

    *withholds his wrath from Kirbx*

  5. #5
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    "When all else fails and there is nothing left to do, laugh."

  6. #6
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    It eases with time, thats all I can say. Everything gets better with time.

    Try not to think about it. Stay busy.

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  7. #7
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    Man that does suck, and I wish you had better advice. Solly had a gay ass way of delivering his advice but it isn't bad in a way. Laughter can help, think of the good times with the friend. Glad the funeral helped. I'm no counselor by far but you need to make sure you have someone to talk to when something like this happens. It can really turn your world upside down. I can imagine you have all kinds of questions... why? could I have done something to prevent? This isn't fair... etc. and I don't have the answers of course, but talking to someone, anyone can be a real help. Anything we here at PD can do for ya.. we'll do it.
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    Furry Authority RedCheetah's Avatar
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    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Time Enough For Love, by Robert Heinlein

  9. #9
    Heart of Gold, Soul of Silver. Midnight the dark Espeon's Avatar
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    Thanks, I know he is in a better place, but... he was one of the only people I could talk to about my dad's death, so... I feel ALONE right now.
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    http://pokedream.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15474
    ^Some pretty freaky crap, check it out.
    ~Current avatar (and most of my sig) made by Ed~
    Quote Originally Posted by Pants,_and_the_beast_dwelling_within View Post
    Negr O's! now with marshmallow bling and chicken!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Editor View Post
    I swear allegiance to Midnight, the coolest person ever to grace the internet :D

    *withholds his wrath from Kirbx*

  10. #10
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    You know of the legend of Tir Na Nog?

    Irish Legend states there is a land outside of time in which nothing tragic can occur. There is no death, no aging, no sadness, no famine. But because there are none of these things, there can also be no joy.

    Everyone would create for those they love a sort of Tir Na Nog, and in doing so would deprive them of happiness as well. This was part of your friend's journey, and it was their time to go... It wasn't your fault, and nothing you could have said or done would have changed it. This was what they needed.

    Tragedy makes the good bits of life sweeter... And there will be good bits again soon.

    Maybe write letters to your friend and save them. Post them here, if it makes you feel better. If you need to talk you can always PM me or send an email kittenclaw22@yahoo.com My writer's forum has a subforum just for that. Writing letters you don't intend to ever send. Letters written to lost love ones, exs, etc. It's really cathartic to write like that sometimes.

    The best thing I can advise though, is: Do not stagnate in your mourning. Read, or write, or play a game, or watch a movie, or whatever it is you like to do. Don't mope, it doesn't solve anything. Distract yourself.

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  11. #11
    Heart of Gold, Soul of Silver. Midnight the dark Espeon's Avatar
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    Thanks Keke. That means alot that some people here at PD are willing to help... On the other hand... RedCheetah... What is wrong with you?!?! You need the help, not me. Suicide is no laughing matter.
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    http://pokedream.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15474
    ^Some pretty freaky crap, check it out.
    ~Current avatar (and most of my sig) made by Ed~
    Quote Originally Posted by Pants,_and_the_beast_dwelling_within View Post
    Negr O's! now with marshmallow bling and chicken!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Editor View Post
    I swear allegiance to Midnight, the coolest person ever to grace the internet :D

    *withholds his wrath from Kirbx*

  12. #12
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    No problem, just email if you ever need an ear

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  13. #13
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    Midnight don;t be hard so hard on him. people deal with things in different ways... RC chooses the Way of the Douche. It's renowned far and wide in the Far East... and he;s a Tax Payer and Good Republican! (HA! Hallelujah Trail refference.) I'm sure he's not trying to hurt you... people just have a variety of views on stuff... Everyone isn't sensitive about the same thing. I AM sorry for your loss though, we're more than happy to talk to ya if ya need it. Just remember, we aren't paid proffesionals.
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  14. #14
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    You could pay me if you want.

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  15. #15
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    I'd love too.. and I just got my income tax check.. though it;s starting to dwindle.
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    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    I only have loonies and toonies.

  17. #17
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    I have pie.

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  18. #18
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    hold on a minute, is it inappropriate to post this here?

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  19. #19
    Father Figure Qoorl's Avatar
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    IN this thread? Perhaps? On this site? No it's the bread and butter of this place.
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  20. #20
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    Maybe this is more appropriate?

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    Furry Authority RedCheetah's Avatar
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    This is the internet, and you're talking about suicide, just what exactly did you expect from me?
    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Time Enough For Love, by Robert Heinlein

  22. #22
    *wink* leo33wii's Avatar
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    Hey man, I had several friend commit suicide, and I recently had a friend do it while I was deployed in Iraq. Keke has good advice.
    I recommend speaking to someone your church, maybe a chaplain. Be honest and tell them how you feel. You can also go to your school counselor to about your friends death.

    I know how you feel, feeling that you are alone. Like a cold and quiet room with a single light bulb above you. I also know the feeling of guilt you have. The things you truly wanted to tell your friend. You may pray to your friend like some people do when they want to speak to god. And like Keke said, go to his grave. Ask his family where they had buried, tell them that you have something on your mind a feel that it's very important to "speak" to his grave and tell him.
    The family should understand.

    Also, if you want to, only if you want, you may email me at:

    leo33wii@gmail.com
    Leo 3DS friend Code: 0344 - 9299 - 0936

    ;]

  23. #23
    Does Dragonite scare you? Dragonfright's Avatar
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    I never had a friend that went suicidal, although I had a friend die in a football accident by his rib puncturing his liver. It sucks to see a friend, family member, or anyone go suicidal like that. It seems I was too late to give advice since I really can't say anything not said at all. I think about my friend a lot to this day even though it happened a year and a half ago, right now, you must be thinking about your friend a lot, maybe 2 to 5 times as much. Its great that you talked to people about this, if I kept quiet about my experiences, I would have fallen into depression years ago. Continue to talk to us or anyone but bastards like Solly, we are your friends, and like all friends, we will try our best to help other friends... well, I guess excluding Solly. If you feel that its necessary, you've got your contacts up there, you can PM me too.(because I don't use my e-mail a lot)

  24. #24
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    I hope you get better soon it is hard to miss somebody you really care about. Keep on walking don't make no U-turns or left right turns keep straight and keep your head up and open your senses. I wish the best of luck.

    Don't attack other people about this that is the first road to recovery I know cause I have anger problems.

  25. #25
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    People seem to have misinterpreted my post as some sort of ironic douch-baggery, like RC. My apologies if you thought it that way. Allow me to explain.

    The death of a loved one causes an incredible amount of stress in friends and family. Stress is well... stressful. Laughter can help to relieve stress. By laughing and being joyful, one can reach the the stage of acceptance more easily.

    Also, consider the fact that it is better to consider the joys in the memories in a friend's life as opposed to sob over the lack of joy. Yes, it is a natural part of death, and I'm not saying you shouldn't cry. However, continuously being sorrowful about it will lead to your friend's memory being one that always brings misery as opposed to enjoying remembering what you did together.

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