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Thread: High-school Secrets

  1. #1
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    Default High-school Secrets

    Sorry if this thing sounds like a book you've read before or the writing is sucky.


    My name is Sadee Lynn Amery. I'm a senior at Whitman's High. It's not really a big school. It only has about two-thousand students. Block schedualing, four classes a day for most students. There's about two-hundred-fifty teachers and twenty different bulidings. Core classes and about twenty-five eletives three teachers for each subject plus more.

    So, I was sitting in my college English class, trying to pay attention to Mr. Whyle. He was going over the deeper meanings of why Homer wrote The Iliad and The Odyssey. So why I wasn't payig attention is obvious. Yeah, super boring.

    So I was thinking about all the people in my class. Some look happy, but are they? The jerk in the back? The country girl in the front? Or even the quiet boy a few rows over? Some of my " friends" say that I'm always happy. But shows how good of friends they are. If they even paid attention to me they'd now that I've been hurt by guys. What good are boyfriends for they only use me to get other girls.

    (edit more when my dad turns wifi back on)

  2. #2
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    (grrr ipod won't let me go to the bottom I think it's good enough right now)

  3. #3
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    I snapped out of my trance when the book slammed on the ground in the back of the class. Looking back I saw Dylan, the jerk, laughing and thethe book wide open on the floor. How immature, throwing books on the ground is fun? I guess it is if your immature. I turned around as Mr. Whyle went back there.

    So I relized in my fourth block class that Jimmy, the quiet boy from English, is in all of mn classes, can't believe it's taken me all semester. We did the same as in English, looked behind us. If he's feeling the same thing, does that still make me crazy? Or for all I know he could just be lookng back cause I am. He went the exact same way I did to fourth block. There's like a bunch of ways to go instead of the way I do. A little odd if you ask me. He's got friends I've seen him hang out with them.

    So skipping a lo g tome ahead, a week before I graduated, I had had enough of being followed. By that time, Jimmy and I hung out all the time, like best friends. So it seems that we both felt watched. While we were walking to English I turned around and yelled at some other students that were around. "Stop following me!!!!" Everyone looked at me like I as crazy and started laughing. Jimmy walked me to class and sat by me. The other two came into class and laughed. I tried to igmore them, and I could have swore I heard Jimmy growl lowly.

    Class was horrible and going to my last class wasn't any better. Someone was actually there. Staring at me with red eyes. Help me...

  4. #4
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    The guy just stood still and stared me down. I felt safer with Jimmy, but Jimmy had to stay behind in English. The guys eyes turned red quickly and oddly the wind started howling rapidly. Everyone ran into buildings and I was froze in my spot.

    The boy moved closer then quickly stopped and growled loudly, I had been moved. How did I get hung over Jimmy's back? I wasn't looking at the guy but down Jimmy's back and the ground. I listened to everything.

    "Why are you here Chace?" Jimmy said with a low grumble in his chest.

    "I'm following her. She facinates me. Smells like one of you night livers and one of us."

    "Night livers?" Jimmy put me by his side.

    "Vampire." Chace had mumbled lowly. Too low for any humanto hear. Why did I hear it?

    "Sadee, you need to come with us after school. Let's get to class." Jimmy put his arm around my shoulder and walked me to our fourth block class.

    As soon as I got to my car someone hit me over the head and the rest, I have no idea.

    I woke up in a room with Jimmy sitting on one side and Chace on the other. I went to rub my head but when I tried to reach up my hands were tr
    tied. Jimmy looked at me and pulled me closer to him and untied my hand. He held me close to him.

    "Jimmy what's going on?" I looked up at him.

    "We're going to see your grandfather." he almost absorbed me into his side. I could tell he didn't really care for Chace. I looked ahead. Chace was driving my car. Why? I reached my hand for the radio but Chace looked at it and growled loundly. Jimmy looked at him feircely and Chace looked ahead and drove.

    We came up to a huge building. What was going to happen to me in here? Will Jimmy keep me safe...?

  5. #5
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    The first line of this makes me think this is very likely plagiarized. You may not right now, but when you are older you will feel great shame at this. Please be original

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  6. #6
    Vanity of vanities, all is vanity Hicky's Avatar
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    I was going to say it was maybe because it was a book i've read before, but alas, poor myself, this is not my day.

  7. #7
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    I think it might be a bad re-hashing of Twilight. As though that literary turd isn't bad enough as it is... Now we get it dumbed down and bastardized! Three cheers for plagiarism!

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  8. #8
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    I'm not really trying to make this sound anything of twilight. I'm tired of this twiggy stuff haven't read the books in months. I'm not plagerizing, or at least not trying to. I just write what comes to my mind. Honestly the only thing that's anywhere to twilight is the vampire werewolf thing, in my oponion. It's not a human falling in love with a vampire haveong a love triangle thing with a human werewolf and vampire. She's not human, none of the three characters right now are. No vampires are going to chase them, no one is going out of country after a party, no one is going to Italy to get killed by an older group if vampires, nothing what-so-ever like that.

  9. #9
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    Yeah, a vampire and a shifter fighting over a girl who smells weird. That isn't at all like twilight...

    Look, I'm not going to argue with you. It is a rip off. You said it yourself in the first line of this thread. I don't care if you plagiarize it, just know that you will (hopefully) at one point feel shame over it. In all likelihood, it will only add to the shame that you tried to defend your dishonorable actions.

    Anyway, carry on, plagiarize away. Good luck with it.

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  10. #10
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    See this is exacttly why I hate coming on this forum. I write something about vampires and werewolves and you look too far into it and say twilight! I don't see anyway this sounds anything like twlight. I don't care if you like it or not. I'm not asking anyones opinin. And if I was stupid enough to plagerize I'd just take the book and change the names in it, or maybe change sentence stucture. I'm not trying yo argue but whatever Im sick and tired of people saying I can't write something cause it automatically sounds like twilight.

  11. #11
    VVV 3 BALLS KhaosMonsterEnergy's Avatar
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    As someone who read all thE twilight books I think that it's a little like twilight but I wouldn't call it plagiarized and so far I think it's pretty good
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  12. #12
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    Just forget it, I'm not going to let words make me give up. Keep thinking it's twilight if you want, don't care. May just change story compleatly... So whatever.

  13. #13
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    Just so you know what plagiarism is, you might want to check this out:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Opa...and_Got_a_Life

    Plagiarism isn't taking a story and changing the name. It's stealing concepts such as a weird smelling girl being fought over by a werewolf and vampire.

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  14. #14
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    I don't careany more Keke. Say what you want. Plus, I don't read anything from wikipedia.

    I've thought about it, yeah it does sound a little like Twilight. Still don't think it's plagerizm. Cause I have a feeling that if I put my other story about humans you'd pobably say Twilight. So I just let my friends who actually appreatate it read them. So whatever I'm done withnir on here. Just do whatever.

  15. #15
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    When have I ever been unkind to you?

    Did you ever stop to consider the fact that I might be trying to help you? Have I ever done anything untoward?

    Maybe you are only taking such great offense because you realize what is happening here and go on the defense. Stop to consider who it is that is talking to you, as well as my tone and what I am saying.

    I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, only to teach you.

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  16. #16
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    It is possible to tell completely original vampire stories.

    Day walking vampires in a high school fighting with werewolves over a strange smelling girl is Twilight. Believe me when I tell you that you can do better than that literary turd. Just try to use your imagination and come up with your own story.

    And if you didn't care, then you wouldn't still be typing or reading what I have to say. You do care or you wouldn't bother posting at all. I'm not trying to offend you.

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  17. #17
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    Keke i'm not saying your being mean. Honestly I did not think this was a plederizm I was just writing. I've been writing for 4 years. I don't know anymore. I may just change the story totally. Make them all human. Who knows. It may not seem like it but I'm tired of vampire werewolf stories.

    So I am sorry I snapped. I probably won't continue. I see no reason to. But thanks for trying to help me, even if I didn't think you were. :/

  18. #18
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    I'm sorry if I came across as critical.

    I don't think you should quit. You need to keep going, write every day even if it's only a little. That is the only way you can get better.

    I'm interested to see what you come up with next

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  19. #19
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    Alright. :] thanks Keke. I will. Well see what I was going to do is have Jimmy and chace take sadee to her grandpa and her grandpa would find her dad and then lead on from there.

  20. #20
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    I'm sorry if I hurt you, I know how easy it is to get upset when it feels like someone is attacking something you care about.

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  21. #21
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    It does kinda hurt. But I'm cool now. Thanks Keke again. And let me know if it starts sounding like Twilight.

  22. #22
    cogito ergo doleo Keke Le Cat's Avatar
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    I will. Constructive criticism is always good

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  23. #23
    Hmmmm... That is all. Ninja in the Darkness's Avatar
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    All smiles now. BUT I have nothing for it now

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    Quote Originally Posted by KhaosMonsterEnergy View Post
    As someone who read all thE twilight books I think that it's a little like twilight but I wouldn't call it plagiarized and so far I think it's pretty good
    You put yourself through reading ALL OF THEM? I bet you I'd fall asleep after a few chapters, or just stop reading after a few pages.
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  25. #25
    VVV 3 BALLS KhaosMonsterEnergy's Avatar
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    no i read them all the thrid one was my favorite
    Quote Originally Posted by Fullmetal View Post
    I'll be here! Even if i have to make 300 alt accounts to have conversations with!!

    POKEDREAM FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Fullmetal if you aren't here in 10 years I will find you and make you post!!

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