As we get older, what changes: the expectations of society, or our own desires and wants?

[Hicky]

Interesting question, I'd say. Ultimately, the majority of the forum is 16-25 or round about there, yet we're attracted to Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Dr. Phil and the majority of our friends mums. As we advance through the generations, do you specifically become attracted to more older women, or do you remain attracted to the same people that you are attracted to now? I know your response is going to be 'nobody knows', but that was people's response to the questions that a young Aristotle would pose, or a Gallileo Gallilei would pose to his friends - curiousity never hurt anybody. Perhaps the older members of the forum can enlighten us on a change in their sexual preferences?

I guess this question also extends beyond sexual preferences - it could extend to games also. Largely, we all like Pokémon to at least some extent - but perhaps we like it for different reasons than we did when we were a kid? Or perhaps not - females like it because they find Vulpix etc. cute and furnishing their Pokémon team is akin to decorating their bedrooms. Males like it because of the competition - ultimately, most male will play for the feel of doing something valuable. Before you shrug this off, it's been proven by scientists that females get addicted to games less easily than men. Obviously women can like it because of competition and men can like it because of the thrill similar to decorating their bedroom. But does this competitive urge get stronger, does it stagnate and Pokémon just become a taboo topic of sorts, or does it get weaker and that's the reason for us stopping playing? Many people will swap Pokémon for Golf... is it because of a change in our careers (golf is a good way to socialize with friends and conduct business), or is it because we genuinely change our activity preference from Pokémon to golf? You could say also swap golf with Scrabble and crosswords - is it because when we become older we become boring old coots, or is it because we lose the energy we used to have?

The chief question being - do our brains change? Do they change with old age? Do our desires change, our does society just expect us to be different?

i made this on another forum. thought i'd repost it here

[Eon_Team]

Well, hormones definitely would factor into how we think. And I think our brains do change as well. Learning new facts or skills could affect someone's interests, because people often (not always) tend to like doing what they are good at. If someone discovers something new they are good at, they might take a liking to it. I'm not much of a philosopher or a biologist (since that seems to be what this question needs) but I don't think any one thing affects it all. It's all a combination of experiences, much the same way our personalities develop as we meet new people and cultures. Our brains learn, and they adapt. I know that doesn't cover it all, but I think that's the most basic explanation.

If anyone else is a biologist or philosopher, please correct me where I'm wrong.

[Jason854]

I'm pretty sure peer pressure affects why we change.

[Eon_Team]

But then what causes peer pressure to change? Once upon a time, the 'cool' teens had to wear leather jackets and grease their hair. Now its stay up to date with the most current trend and pop artist.

[Solly]

But then what causes peer pressure to change? Once upon a time, the 'cool' teens had to wear leather jackets and grease their hair. Now its stay up to date with the most current trend and pop artist.

Memes.

[Fullmetal]

i respectfully disagree with peer pressure. i've been in situations with it growing up, and it never influenced a decision i had. it's more about personal will power in those situations. i can only speak from personal experience though.

to talk about the original thought by the hickster, i think it's ourselves. i can only speak as an american because i don't know what society is like over in other countries. in terms of games i'm not sure what changes. i've liked the same video games since i was a small child til this day. i like a lot of game genres. the ones i particularly don't are sports, and serious racing games (something like mario kart isn't serious unless you mean seriously awesome).

in terms of relationship preference i think that's also your personal choice, not society. it's more of an experience thing though. the more people you talk to, the more people you get to know, the more you understand what you want and don't want. after a while you start to narrow down the list. i doubt it's going to be 1 specific type of person only, but after so long you definately know what you're interested in when you're looking for relationships or friends. some people might be very broad, some might be very precise. occasionally there are some people you didn't think you'd be interested in on either social level, but they sometimes surprise you.

[Jason854]

i respectfully disagree with peer pressure. i've been in situations with it growing up, and it never influenced a decision i had. it's more about personal will power in those situations. i can only speak from personal experience though.

to talk about the original thought by the hickster, i think it's ourselves. i can only speak as an american because i don't know what society is like over in other countries. in terms of games i'm not sure what changes. i've liked the same video games since i was a small child til this day. i like a lot of game genres. the ones i particularly don't are sports, and serious racing games (something like mario kart isn't serious unless you mean seriously awesome).

in terms of relationship preference i think that's also your personal choice, not society. it's more of an experience thing though. the more people you talk to, the more people you get to know, the more you understand what you want and don't want. after a while you start to narrow down the list. i doubt it's going to be 1 specific type of person only, but after so long you definately know what you're interested in when you're looking for relationships or friends. some people might be very broad, some might be very precise. occasionally there are some people you didn't think you'd be interested in on either social level, but they sometimes surprise you.

I'm not speaking about personal preferences, I am talkin about the big stuff. Like, if everyone thought that it was okay, people would wear diapers. But since society expects us to grow out of diapers, we do. People would keep a comfort item with them at all times, but since you know your peers would ridicule you if you did, you don't.

[Fullmetal]

gonna agree with justin on the diapers. even if society thought it was ok for people our age to wear diapers, i still wouldn't. it's pretty disgusting and probably unsanitary to do that. plus everyone would go around smelling like shit and piss, god that's awful.

i get what you were trying to say by your example. i just felt the need to make a small fantasy about what life would be like in a diaper.

[Keke Le Cat]

Yes, desires do change.

When we are very small, we do not understand that desire does not equate attainment. To want is not to then get. As we age, we learn there are things we need to do to get whatever it is we want.

As we develop mentally, some learn to work to get what they want on their own, others depend on their social group to get what they want.

Some people are driven to work for what they desire, others manipulate others to work for their desires.



As for sexual appetites, they change as we age, and they change monthly for women.

There is a Dutch Scientist touring Europe with heat sensors and video equipment recording women at night clubs, then questioning them about their cycles. He's been doing it for years and years... He's proven the following:

When a woman ovulates they desire more masculine appearing men, who have more obvious signs of high testosterone and are better physical specimens.

When they are farther from their ovulation cycle (not their period, ovulating is not menstruating) they desire men who are more feminine or "beautiful."

Also women who are ovulating are more likely to make bad sexual decisions, have one night stands, make overt passes at strangers, etc. They are more flirtatious, and sexually aggressive. They are also more likely to cheat while ovulating.

They are hard wired subconsciously and hormonally to seek the best father for their unborn children. Women who do not particularly like the idea of children will start to consider them more appealing while ovulating and might desire a family then, when 2 weeks later they have no such desires.



Another thing I've noticed personally is that younger girls just entering puberty often prefer the appearance of very feminine or "beautiful" men, as they age they prefer more masculine men displaying more outward signs of high testosterone.

For example, fifteen years ago my ideal was more along the lines of Bryan White (weasly country singer) but now I prefer Gerard Butler (beefy Scot with pretty eyes)

[Ninetails 009]

Well, contributing nothing especially intellectual to this discussion, regarding my experience with let's say, pokemon, the reasons why I like it has definitely changed. Back when I was five and still in the era of Red and Blue, I liked it because my brother liked it and it was cool to like it. Now, it's not cool to like Pokemon. Talk about Pokemon in my school and you're immediately labelled as a nerd with no life. Now I like Pokemon because I like creating my team and creating a story and backstory for them. So yeah, mindsets do change.

I think brains change as we age, but we retain extreme loyalties that we've had since young. It's like how there are still many of the older generation still like Elvis Presley in their hearts even though they don't sport the 70s fashion anymore, or openly parade their dedication to him.

[Shadow]

I'm not speaking about personal preferences, I am talkin about the big stuff. Like, if everyone thought that it was okay, people would wear diapers. But since society expects us to grow out of diapers, we do. People would keep a comfort item with them at all times, but since you know your peers would ridicule you if you did, you don't.

It would depend on what you call a comfort item though. I rarely ever go anywhere without a knife, and when I lack one I tend to be a bit more restless. No one makes fun of me though.

And in an attempt to add to the thread, I personally think that both change. Proof of that is that nothing now is like it was in the fifties, and not one of us thinks the same way we did when we were little, let alone the way we did only a few short years ago.

[leo33wii]

Wow, this is actually a topic of interest. I wouldn't say it's the most creative or all that good of an idea, but interesting to say the least.

I haven't changed my reasons for why I love Pokémon and I won't stop playing Pokémon either. I plan on getting the new games even though I know it's going be a minimal improvement. Why? Because I want the experience.
I'm a child at heart and this allows me to what I can't always do, explore a world and play with animals. I love playing with my dog before she died. I trained her and she was well disciplined. She knew how to attack or guard and do the silly tricks like roll over and shake hands. Well trained and intelligent. She relied on me when we go out for hikes and played fetch or to hunt.
Pokémon gives me a similar feeling and my imagination expands it.

I think that people never change their desires. Your desire gets modified when you obtain it, but when you lose it, you try to regain that similar desire.
Men want a younger and beautiful wife (straight men). Men who want men would like to have a best friend that they can hang out with and physically express themselves to.
Women desire a man who complements the missing part of their personality while lesbians want a great lover and companion.
This is all generic and debatable, but I'm sure a great deal of people can agree with it.

[Pink-kitty2]

OhgodGerardButler<3.

Edit: I think that opinion changes because of a predetermined mental wiring. I don't think peer pressure, or any expectation of society, factors into it. That being said, there are variations from this, people who dig younger people or older people or people in one arm, three eyes, and ten children.

[Qoorl]

T&A is always attractive....