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Thread: Soooooooooo

  1. #1
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Default Soooooooooo

    For the past week my girlfriend has been breaking up with me on and off, usually just calling me back saying she's sorry and wants to get back together. We've had maybe 3 big fights in 9 months that were like this and it usually started because of her family or friends brainwashing her. Every time it happens I didn't get emotional or anything, I just said think about it and shit and then she calmed down and back to normal. I know how women get so I just took it at face value. So, back to this week, it's been really stressful for her and I have been there to support her. But when we talked she started ganging up on me and started saying things like, "You don't care about me, you don't do enough with me, why are we even together. blah blah blah." First off, I blow around 250 bucks on her a month and we see the latest movies all the time. So I don't know where she was getting that from when she said we don't do anything. She then said she's breaking up with me because, not that I curse AT her, which I don't, but because I curse AROUND her. I said if it bothers her that much I'll work on it. Then yesterday she brought it up again and I said the same thing because it's a hard habit to break and I will work on it. So she starts flipping out and I said call me back when she's calmed down. She doesn't call so I texted her today saying I was going to work, she texts back saying that we aren't together and she doesn't care.

    Why does this matter you may ask? I'm writing this because, I'm not upset. Like, I feel a little empty but that's to be expected. I DO love her, but a wise women once told me that God made us capable of loving many people in our life. So, I'm not afraid anymore that I won't be able to love again nor am I afraid that I won't find another person to date. Guilt is a word that comes to my head because shouldn't I feel more pain? I guess I'm less of a youthful man that gets caught up in all this stuff like I used to when I was younger, because I know I did love her. It's just odd when comparing things in past experiences. I think when you are older and have dated more people and they leave your life, it hurts less because you know it's not the end. That's what I have learned at least.

    So where does this leave me? If she wants to "work things out" I don't think I will concede to doing so. When she says "work things out" it's usually ME doing everything and her not. Because in her mind, I'm always wrong and she's always a saint. Listen people their are four, FOUR "bad" things about me that COULD make a women mad about:

    I drink.
    I smoke.
    I curse A LOT.
    And I yell when I argue.

    THAT'S IT!

    I don't lie, cheat, hit or anything crazy. Just those four things.

    In either case I have TRIED, VERY HARD, to compromise and make her feel like I'm not a douche, I even went to a youth group with her to make her happy! But no matter what I do it's never good enough for her---I don't deserve that, nor do I think she does either. Maybe we aren't meant to be together and that this relationship has run it's course.

    I'm not bitter, angry or even sad. It feels weird when a chapter ends in life, but everything in life revolves around hellos and goodbyes---for in the end, we all will go to the same place.

    So, I don't want to date for a while, and I don't mean I'm fucking everything with two legs either! haha I think if I was to "date" again, I'd say I don't want the words "forever", "always", "married", "kids" or even "love" in the relationship. Care is a good word because there is no indefinite commitment. Lets face it, do you really think you're going to be with the same person forever and be HAPPY as well until you have a life of your own, with a real job and all? I don't think so is all, and I think people should enjoy friends and family more and worry less about who is the "one."

    Have FUN people, I know I will.

    There's a song I think all you young kids should listen too, I like the idea it implements. I wish I did this when I was younger to be honest.



    I propose we support a one month limit on going steady,
    I think It will keep people more able to deal with weird situations,
    And get to know more people,
    I think if you're ready to go out with Johnny,
    Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit,
    He wont mind he'll appreciate your fresh look on dating,
    And once you've dated someone else you can date him again.





    Just my thoughts is all. Thanks for reading.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  2. #2
    Fuck shit niggerspit. Bumblebee's Avatar
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    Also: the part about being the one who has to fix everything and the other person always being the saint sounds like my recent relationship. I really never want to be with someone who does that to me again.

    Also also: look up the song "Our Love Was Good" by Bradley Hathaway. It's how I feel about my aforementioned relationship, and you may appreciate it too.

  3. #3
    Pokemon Master Eve's Avatar
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    Remember what I said all those years ago Dave. x



  4. #4
    You're one hundred years too early to fight me.
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    Never experienced this yet but I agree.
    Me and my gf have been for a year now and we go steady because we both try to change what's wrong with the both of us, not just the wrong in one, and we give each other what we deserve.
    We don't go that extreme(thinking about marriage, kids, those kinds of stuff), nor neglect our families and friends, we just do what we do and love each other.
    The problem with most relationships are that they expect too much in their partners that they forget to do what their partner expects from them, and this is not limited to girls, as even boys go overboard.
    And sometimes, people just try so hard to have a relationship that's not meant to be.
    As for those who think they've found their "perfect one", the keys to lasting relationships are, as me and my gf believe, being faithful, be patient and understand who your partner is(regarding in attitude, personality, and their capability to care about you), time, companionship, dedication, and of course, effort.
    And don't ever try to correct something that's not wrong.
    Some people want their partners to like this, to be like that, etc. etc., but don't forget that your partner is who they are.
    Now for your case Mr. Dogar, that is good.
    Once you're sure that you need the "one", that's the best time for a relationship.
    As for you Bumblebee, try to look for someone who loves you for who you are and is someone whom you also like for who he is.
    That should work.
    Eve, you sound like you're an expert on this.
    Now this should guide those others who are still searching for their "right one". ;D

  5. #5
    You're one hundred years too early to fight me.
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    That was a lot to say.

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    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    personally i'm not surprised hearing a girl acted like a girl/kid. females are hard to keep satisfied, because from my own experiences you can do everything right and still get it wrong. there are some things the 2 of you can agree on not doing as much (i guess swearing is a common one?), and then there are a lot of things where you need to say "this is who i am" and be a bit forceful. if they don't like you for you, then you don't need to be together.

  7. #7
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    My father once imparted upon me a wise tale of why well-founded relationships mess-up.

    No man is perfect, and although a woman may see their man as the best, he isn't perfect. So she tries to change him, tweak him slightly, make him the best. The man, being a man, is oblivious to these attempts, and doesn't change. The woman grows resentful of the man, because she thinks he's not changing on purpose. The man starts feeling resentful because the woman's resenting him for no reason he is aware of.

  8. #8
    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    I know that feeling of emptiness- that happened to me after my boyfriend and I "broke up". And it's weird,because I know I'm not going to get back together with him- but I haven't found anyone else and it feels strange sometimes not to call and speak to him every time I do something I'd normally call and tell him right away. I'm not going to do that obviously, and he's moved on completely,I think (at least,the last time we talked he was telling me that he had a crush on some chick he knows).

    It's worth it though,because we had a lot of little issues we needed to work through,and it just wasn't working. I guess I always knew that we weren't going to stay together forever or that there'd be anything long term about our relationship.

    Anyway,I'm not going to digress- but my point is that if it's not working,you're better off apart. I think you've done all you could to "work things out" and if she still isn't happy,forget it. You seem to be handling it pretty well,considering
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  9. #9
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    i think it's kind of interesting when you figure out your relationship isn't going to work. it's only a matter of time after that. of course i'm a weirdo who likes being/putting people in strange and pressured situations.

  10. #10
    VVV 3 BALLS KhaosMonsterEnergy's Avatar
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    God dammit I can't read any thing in this thread all the posts are so long
    Quote Originally Posted by Fullmetal View Post
    I'll be here! Even if i have to make 300 alt accounts to have conversations with!!

    POKEDREAM FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Fullmetal if you aren't here in 10 years I will find you and make you post!!

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    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for posting back. And Trixie that's how I feel right now, not being able to call her to tell her what I'm up to. I think I'll find a "text buddy" that's a female to be my personal twitter page. And I think I'm taking it pretty well. But as I told God, I feel guilty for not trying even HARDER. But as he said if it hasn't worked it's not going to work. Just another chapter.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  12. #12
    VVV 3 BALLS KhaosMonsterEnergy's Avatar
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    It's alright everythings going to be okay
    Quote Originally Posted by Fullmetal View Post
    I'll be here! Even if i have to make 300 alt accounts to have conversations with!!

    POKEDREAM FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Fullmetal if you aren't here in 10 years I will find you and make you post!!

  13. #13
    Fuck shit niggerspit. Bumblebee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fullmetal View Post
    i think it's kind of interesting when you figure out your relationship isn't going to work. it's only a matter of time after that. of course i'm a weirdo who likes being/putting people in strange and pressured situations.
    It is interesting. I hate it too though; both relationships I've been in, I was the one to break it off. And that's really difficult, because, you know, I have a heart and all

  14. #14
    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave View Post
    Thanks everyone for posting back. And Trixie that's how I feel right now, not being able to call her to tell her what I'm up to. I think I'll find a "text buddy" that's a female to be my personal twitter page. And I think I'm taking it pretty well. But as I told God, I feel guilty for not trying even HARDER. But as he said if it hasn't worked it's not going to work. Just another chapter.


    He was right- accept it and move on. If you really ought to be together you will. I've learnt to be philosophical about these things.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  15. #15
    You're one hundred years too early to fight me.
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    Yeah.
    "If you're meant to be, then you'll eventually end up together.
    But if not, no matter how hard you try, you'll never be together."

  16. #16
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post


    He was right- accept it and move on. If you really ought to be together you will. I've learnt to be philosophical about these things.
    I'm a very poetic, romantic philosophical person with everything in life. I just have a soft side for women in my heart, I always let my feelings for them get in the way of things.

    I need to find a strong, independent woman. But who'll have a nurturing romantic side to her. She must have many common interests as me.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  17. #17
    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    I hate clingy women. I always expect their boyfriends to shake them off.
    Independant is good.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  18. #18
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    I have a tendency to always date needy women. I mean, we are all needy to some extent, but women that are completely dependent on the man. It's not a "bad" thing but all I know is every time I date a needy person in ends up bad.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  19. #19
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    FUCKQQWQKDdsal;jkfl;jsak;jl;kdsla';ds;'kfsajljdsal ;dsakl;efbjk

    I KNEW this was going to happen. Yes people she wants to make up. I don't have the heart to say no, I really really really really don't. Somebody, give me some advice. I want a well rounded view, not a no or yes. I want both the ups and downs. She said that we could start out as being friends again and work from there. Well?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  20. #20
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    A wise-man once said, "If you have to ask if you love her, then you don't."

  21. #21
    is good for you
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    Right, the fact that your coming to us for help shows that you are somewhat doubtful of her love, meaning your relationship will never be the same. If it would've you would have unhesitangly said yes.

  22. #22
    Pokemon Master Eve's Avatar
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    to be honest
    you should learn from your mistakes
    if shes done it before, she'll do it again.. theres no point in carrying on like that. it'll just fuck you in the head in the long run...



  23. #23
    Fuck shit niggerspit. Bumblebee's Avatar
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    Also she sounds just a little batshit.
    Dunno about you but I don't find that very attractive.

  24. #24
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    It's not a question of whether or not I love her, it's a question of is love enough to work things out. I'll have to give this a few days to think about it.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  25. #25
    Fuck shit niggerspit. Bumblebee's Avatar
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    Dude seriously... she has fewer problems than my ex, and I didn't go back to him. The way I see it, exes are exes for a reason (or a few reasons ).
    Think about it if you want, but I think it'd be a mistake.

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