IF YOU AREN’T CERTAIN WHICH COLOR SUITS YOU BEST OR WHAT TYPE OF FOOD IS YOUR FAVORITE, TAKE A PERSONALITY TEST.

Last week in school, as a morning gesture and a sign of good will towards my class, two ladies surprised us by providing us with 100 questions which made 1 personality test. It was a tricky offer too, you couldn’t say no to them. Everyone had to do it because they wanted to “find out more about situation in school and social life of its students”. I learned to loathe personality tests through years by taking them one by one each year. From experience I know that after you filled those papers with useless information, they study it for a while and start babbling about your life, mood, relation with your parents, your style of dressing, your lucky number/color, what animal you are, what celebrity corresponds you, what’s your favorite holiday resort, what pen suits your fingers best, which animal’s paw will bring you luck and good fortune if you carry it around your neck, what cookie/ice cream/coffee/mobile phone/any random object you are and other bullshit you obviously know, or even if you don’t know- you don’t WANT to know, because it’s insignificant, makes no difference to you and it isn’t interesting at all. What’s the point?

The tests they gave us contained 100 questions, each one having 5 options for an answer: “Absolutely not”, “I think not”, “Maybe”, “I think yes”, “Absolutely yes”. Questions were based on my social life and my relation with parents. Like, “Are you being pushed around in school?”, 40% of questions were “Do you approve of *random cliché quote people usually say?*”, “Do you find yourself attractive”, “Do others find you attractive?”. What’s the point of these questions? Am I supposed to take these tests by my own freewill because I need help? Because my parents beat me up and I can’t communicate with them? I bought a sandwich during a recess, while other people ate pizza, I feel shunned by society and don’t wish to live like an outcast anymore so I’m going to take a personality tests and answer questions completely irrelevant with my problem, or anything significant for that matter, in hope it will provide me an insight of how I really am, the way I think and the way I SHOULD think. Sounds reasonable?

Online quizzes are even worse, because they cover subjects ranging from Harry Potter to your ideal pet. People want to feel important so they do a test which tells them they are equal to a random celebrity. Yes, very impressive. You certainly stand out by being categorized and COMPARED TO A PERSON. How do you think you’ll make your personality special by BELIEVING you are a copy of Justin Timberlake? “Great! Judging by your score you are… PHIL COLLINS OMG”. No you are not, stop pretending and remove it out of your signature. Do you feel special knowing that 20,000 people got the same result as you? Very impressive.

Here, take a look what I found on a single personal space of a girl who goes in my school.

Your Fashion Style is Sporty


You're a natural beauty who doesn't need fancy clothes to look good
You prefer your clothes to be comfortable, so you can stay on the go
For you, femininity is not how you wear - but how you wear it.
Still, don't be afraid to show off that great body in a dress or skirt!

You Are a Winter

You look ravishing in: Black, burgundy, emerald green, hot pink, icy colors, navy blue, red, royal purple, and white

Guys Think You're Hard to Get

You're the furthest thing from easy.
You're proper, reserved, and maybe even a little shy.
While you don't need a mini skirt and high heels to attract Mr. Right, being a little more flirty couldn't hurt.
A sexy top or little smile may encourage new guys to approach you - and you'll still come off as a nice girl
.

You Are Avril Lavigne!

A bit hardcore on the outside...
But sweet and sensitive on the inside.
"It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life

You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream


Popular. Friendly. Fun.

You Are Boot Cut Jeans
You're fashionable and sexy - in an understated way.
You're more about looking good than following the latest look of the week.


You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting.
You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!


Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect


Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Your Learning Style: Personal and Passionate


You are very flexible and curious about the world. Human understanding is very important to you.

You Should Study:

Anthropology
Architecture
Art
Art history
Art therapy
Classics
Counseling
Foreign Languages and Literature
International Studies
Linguistics
Literature
Psychology
Sociology
Teaching

You see how it’s easy to tell the difference between the regular internet junk and stuff you can 100% find in a teen magazine. They make those idiotic tests for girls with low self-confidence who are dumb enough to feel comforted by them.

“You're the furthest thing from easy.
You're proper, reserved, and maybe even a little shy.
While you don't need a mini skirt and high heels to attract Mr. Right, being a little more flirty couldn't hurt.
A SEXY TOP OR LITTLE SMILE MAY ENCOURAGE NEW GUYS TO APPROACH YOU - AND YOU'LL STILL COME OFF AS A NICE GIRL.”


See the part in caps lock? It’s a bingo for insecure bitches who need their ego boosted up because they never had a boyfriend (not that they actually tried doing anything about it) and want to feel good about themselves. They ADVISE them how to be sluts and be able to cover it up with a “innocent, virgin girl” look.

“You look ravishing in: Black, burgundy, emerald green, hot pink, icy colors, navy blue, red, royal purple, and white.”

Wow, that’s really cool, I’m winter. This means major change in my lifestyle. I’m tired of having summer as my favorite season anyway, this will sure be a positive, fresh, change for me!

“You Are Avril Lavigne!”

Awesome, that cheesy line was probably taken from her song and it turned out to be a great comparison to me and my motto!

“Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!”


This kind of shit never gets old. People who choose to take tests like this, in 99% never got kissed. But they certainly read hundreds of “manuals” on the internet and plenty of “tips” in their favorite magazine, so they are ready WHEN THE MOMENT COMES, while this tests serves as a solid wall to lean on and gain even more self-confidence.

And why the hell would I want to be a damn CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM or a pair of BOOT CUT JEANS?! Where does it end? Where’s the fucking limit? Cut the shit already! I’m pretty convinced people on a forum don’t give a flying fuck if you got a McDonald’s cheeseburger as your test result.

Personality tests are for people who aren’t certain of how they feel, how to dress and how to eat, but they “WISH TO FIND OUT”.