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  1. #1

    Default may the lord be with you

    hi! i'm paster paul from the mormon mission in kenya, and i noticed this site when a friend from the states linked me on twitter. i thought it would be a hoot if i tagged along and help positively spread the word of Joseph Smith.

    also, i was looking around the site, and i noticed someone was not abiding by the third commandment... i hope you know thats a punishable sin! i wont disclose who it is, but the name is obvious.

    but, regardless of sin, i shall love you all as brothers! praise christ!

  2. #2
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    ....

    I have no response to this

  3. #3
    if i had a horse for every time i heard that, i'd have 2 horse Pants's Avatar
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    lol what is this


    your welcome

  4. #4
    I have no mouth. And I must scream. geromy's Avatar
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    Can I ask you a question about god?

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    why, of course my son. what is it that you want to know?

  6. #6
    I have no mouth. And I must scream. geromy's Avatar
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    Why was god such a dick in the old testament.

  7. #7

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    never curse upon the lord thy God's name geromy, but here's my answer:

    well, when the jewish scribes wrote the original testament, they lived in a time where they based most or all of gods actions on the surrounding barbarians and invading europeans. the jews were obviously blindsided, so they blamed god. everyone knows the real prophets were the legions of nephites that migrated to america. they had the wisdom god granted onto them by punishing them with darker red skin.

    god is genuinely merciful on anyone who believes, grieves their heathen actions, preaches his word, loves their neighbor and friend, and tries with all possibility to associate with those of the one true church of latter day saints.

    as for the rest of humanity, i'm afraid they are doomed to suffer...

  8. #8
    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christismysavior+++ View Post
    never curse upon the lord thy God's name geromy, but here's my answer:

    well, when the jewish scribes wrote the original testament, they lived in a time where they based most or all of gods actions on the surrounding barbarians and invading europeans. the jews were obviously blindsided, so they blamed god. everyone knows the real prophets were the legions of nephites that migrated to america. they had the wisdom god granted onto them by punishing them with darker red skin.

    god is genuinely merciful on anyone who believes, grieves their heathen actions, preaches his word, loves their neighbor and friend, and tries with all possibility to associate with those of the one true church of latter day saints.

    as for the rest of humanity, i'm afraid they are doomed to suffer...
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    In Soviet Russia, Editor is protected from YOU!! The Editor's Avatar
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    Why do I have Cystic Fibrosis?

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    is good for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Editor View Post
    Why do I have Cystic Fibrosis?
    God was feeling generous, obviously.

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    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Editor View Post
    Why do I have Cystic Fibrosis?
    In retrospect this post is pretty hilarious.

  12. #12
    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    As a Chatholic I curse God name in vain all the time.

    And don't care. Its one of the most pointless amendments.

    And I am the former religion nut here only now second to you.

  13. #13
    In Soviet Russia, Editor is protected from YOU!! The Editor's Avatar
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    I don't do alts unless I've been banned and want to take a look. Besides, he doesn't use capital letters.

  14. #14
    I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it. Lord's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christismysavior+++ View Post
    hi! i'm paster paul from the mormon mission in kenya, and i noticed this site when a friend from the states linked me on twitter. i thought it would be a hoot if i tagged along and help positively spread the word of Joseph Smith.

    also, i was looking around the site, and i noticed someone was not abiding by the third commandment... i hope you know thats a punishable sin! i wont disclose who it is, but the name is obvious.

    but, regardless of sin, i shall love you all as brothers! praise christ!
    the lord will never leave you. i think i'd know.

  15. #15
    if i had a horse for every time i heard that, i'd have 2 horse Pants's Avatar
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    lol hey, i got a question!

    what kind of punishment do we suffer if we do nothing but fuck and murder all day and follow any religion other than mormon? xD


    your welcome

  16. #16
    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    fire and brimstone

    according to morons I mean mormans

  17. #17
    if i had a horse for every time i heard that, i'd have 2 horse Pants's Avatar
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    morMen

    AMIRONG?


    your welcome

  18. #18
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Fucking magnets, how do they work?

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Solly View Post
    Fucking magnets, how do they work?
    why do you find it necessary to curse?

    anyway, magnets work the same way nature does. when god finds it necessary to allow magnets to attract, as the birds are attracted to eachother in nature, they entwine and become one, until an outside force causes them to separate.

    its very dramatic in all honesty, seeing how simply one can be torn asunder...

    praise christ every day or you might be torn asunder by a governing power

  20. #20
    eh YellowBrand's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christismysavior+++ View Post
    why do you find it necessary to curse?

    anyway, magnets work the same way nature does. when god finds it necessary to allow magnets to attract, as the birds are attracted to eachother in nature, they entwine and become one, until an outside force causes them to separate.

    its very dramatic in all honesty, seeing how simply one can be torn asunder...

    praise christ every day or you might be torn asunder by a governing power
    yeah, i guess you're right. all this 'science' stuff everyone wets their pants about is really a huge, stinky load of bullshit. thanks for helping me realize that, christismysavior+++


  21. #21
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christismysavior+++ View Post
    why do you find it necessary to curse?

    anyway, magnets work the same way nature does. when god finds it necessary to allow magnets to attract, as the birds are attracted to eachother in nature, they entwine and become one, until an outside force causes them to separate.

    its very dramatic in all honesty, seeing how simply one can be torn asunder...

    praise christ every day or you might be torn asunder by a governing power
    Praise Christ every day or you may be torn asunder for your HORRIBLE GRAMMAR!!!!!

  22. #22
    The other Cylons call me Triclops. ShadowRaven's Avatar
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    Magnetism, my boi.

    "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
    Albert Einstein

  23. #23
    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    no god's will silly

    gawd

  24. #24
    eh YellowBrand's Avatar
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    "kenyan pastors" joining pokemon forums and blessing everyone. you only see that on pokedream.


  25. #25
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christismysavior+++ View Post
    hi! i'm paster paul from the mormon mission in kenya, and i noticed this site when a friend from the states linked me on twitter. i thought it would be a hoot if i tagged along and help positively spread the word of Joseph Smith.

    also, i was looking around the site, and i noticed someone was not abiding by the third commandment... i hope you know thats a punishable sin! i wont disclose who it is, but the name is obvious.

    but, regardless of sin, i shall love you all as brothers! praise christ!
    Now obviously you are an alt, but lets play devil's advocate, what is the user name of said friend you linked this site to you on twitter?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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