Originally Posted by
Fullmetal
Blah.
My grandmother is a woman in her late 70s. She's under 5 feet tall and her old skin hangs off her face.
She's a racist like most old people, when blatant racism was acceptable. My mom (her daughter) constantly tells her to stop referring to them as colored folk / niggers. My grandma has a subtle yet annoying accent which you will never hear until she says the word "wash" in some tense. Only she does not say "wash". She says "worshed". It's kinda funny, but kinda psychotic hate inducing at the same time.
In november of 2006 my mom came to me and says:
mom~ your dad wants grandma to move in. how do you feel about it?
me~ my opinion doesn't matter so who cares. not trying to be some pity monger, just sayin that's the truth.
mom~ your opinion DOES matter adam you live in this house too.
me~ ok then i don't want her here. any extra people we have ever had live with us only piss us off. (i proceeded to cite examples to back my claim here)
mom~ i see your point, i'll talk it over with your father.
Next morning i'm told my grandmother is moving in soon. Haaaaaaa. Keep in mind this was my fathers idea.
Grandmama lives with us for a couple weeks, i rarely see her and my mom is happy and my dad is cool with it because he's shafting the fuck out of her for rent. I personally could not ask my family for money if they needed a place to stay, but then again i'm not married with in laws so i don't know the mindset.
A few weeks further down, the shit starts happening. My grandma who is a HEAVY smoker, smokes in the house. For some unholy reason she decided to do all the house work and i was berated by my mom to stop her and tried, but my grandma started doing all the house chores at 3am (she sleeps during the day) and i never had a chance. Problem is she is so fucking old she can't do things correctly anymore. All of our dishes look like they never got washed, and whatever else she does is not noticable since she does it so poorly.
My parents are the funniest part of all of this. They constantly bitch about her and everything, but never to her face. Always behind her back, and they don't do anything to prevent it. They always put on smiles when they talk to her even though she makes retarded jokes and is your standard annoying old person. Grandma will walk into the kitchen and say "garbage was full so i says...i says...time to take it OUT! hehehehehee *lung racking smokers cough*". You know what? No, not even that. it's a laugh like "kekekekekeke" or something. It's boistorous, yet not normal. Of course everyone but me laughs along with it. Like i said, they fucking HATE her now. And they don't say shit, which is just dumb.
Grandma has always been a bitch too. With a big smile she will criticize unfairly. My mom works 8-10 hours a day, comes home and my grandma will say "oh i thought you would have done something useful and made dinner by now". My mom just chuckles then leaves. Upstairs she throws a tantrum, chews me and my dad out instead, then has a nervous breakdown. Mmmm yes i love it.
As i said, she's just an annoying person. She treats me like her personal driver, but i don't play that. If she needs me to take her somewhere i avoid her all day and since she is too old to walk up stairs constantly. She has my phone number, and will call me but i don't answer. Bitch has called me at all hours of the morning before, even if i'm asleep. Fuck that. That's about as far as it goes for me. I tell my mom i didn't want her here so she's not my problem. Harsh and undeserving, but needed. Grandmother thinks shes pretty slick too. She'll say "i need to get some medication" then when we're out she will say "oh i need to go to the store too". It's a trend, she ends up trying to shanghai me into a day of service. I don't bite on that bait though. I tell her to give me the list or something and i get it on my own time. The reason being when she's out in public for some unholy reason she always needs to use the bathroom when we get there, even though the house is 5 fucking minutes away, and we left 5 fucking minutes ago. I don't know how many old people you've dealt with, but mine has "walking gas", and you can figure out what i mean beyond sugar coating. It's loud and embarassing, i'll say that much.
I got in massive trouble for yelling at her once. Dinner is horrible with her. She makes all the dumbass jokes, but does something i can not stand. It's one of my biggest hatreds someone can do. I fucking hate it when people watch me eat. I have no idea why. I just do not like someone to fucking eyeball me when i am putting sustenance in my oral hatch. It pisses me off, makes me uneasy, and i can't eat. My grandma does this constantly. She will always watch me eat. My dad does too for that matter, fuck both of them. I got in trouble for telling her to do something along the lines of "step the fuck back" once, and another time she did a pseudo-rapist move to me. I was eating, and she ran her skeletal claw down my spine so lightly it felt like a ghouls touch. I was chilled to the bone, and very bluntly said "do not touch me". There's a huge difference between "don't touch me" and "do not touch me". Probably because i mugged her when i said it my mom yelled at me. They all had a joke afterwards about it to play it off, but i don't give a fuck.
The best part is my dad i think. He's the one that wanted her here, but he's the one complaining the most. My dads an overreactive whining cunt, i'll start with that. My nose is way sharper than his yet he can smell her cigarette smoke all day? No, sorry that does not work. So instead of telling grandma to fucking SMOKE OUTSIDE, he buys air freshener and drowns the house in it every day. Do you see a trend yet? Problems that aren't addressed, only complained about. Do you see why i bitch about people that do that?
Another post for another time is my dad, but today i was inspired to write this because of this event.
Fridays the laundry room is OFF FUCKING LIMITS because my dad is an idiot like that. The reason it's offlimits is because he does laundry on fridays. 5 outfits, essentially. It's 90 minutes of laundry at the max. But no, no one else can do laundry because when my dad decides to do his is whenever he feels like it. Some fridays he comes home and does it when he gets in the door. Others he doesn't even do laundry at all and does it saturday. The point is the laundry machines are OFF LIMITS on fridays because my dad is stupid, as i said.
But my grandma lives here now.
Every friday. My grandmother. Will do laundry. It's not even the early morning when my dad won't be here, she waits until the afternoon and he's off work. She was told a few times not to by my mom who catches shit from my whiney dad who will not say it to grandmothers face, yet she obviously ignores it to spite him. This friday was no different. As soon as my dad gets home, less than minutes after he gets home, my grandma goes to the laundry room to tie it up. I don't know what psychological warfare is going on here, but it is fucking hilarious.
That's when this post was inspired. My dad walks his 50 year old shirtless self holding a joint and stands into the hallway. He stood in the hallway and waited for me. I know this because i heard him outside when i was downstairs and making food. He stood in the hall until i came up, and waited til he saw me, then proceeded to throw a tantrum. He asks me "is that your grandmother?!". "Yes" i say. He responds "Oh that's fucking PERFECT. Friday is MY LAUNDRY DAY". 10 minutes later my dad gets all of his clothes together and throws them in the laundry room in some mini fit then starts slamming doors and pacing the house to slam more doors.
The reason this is funny is because my dad was not planning on doing laundry at the time. If he does not do it when he gets home, he won't do it until tomorrow. He was just looking for a reason to bitch. My dad is another post entirely though.
Pointless life drama is fun eh?
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