Originally Posted by
Tony Katum
CATEGORY: ASHBASH
NARORATOR: Our Zeroes, I mean, "Heroes" have finally arrived in Sapphire City. Ash is in a hurry to earn his Power Badge from the Sapphire Gym. Actually, he is just hoping that the Leader will feel sorry enough for him that he will give Ash the badge; After all, Ash is the suckiest battler in the entire world!
"Come on, guys, let's go!" Ash exclaimed in his horribly annoying voice. "I'm gonna win my Power Badge!"
"I don't know Ash," Brock said. "Even though you withdrew all of your toughest Pokemon, I really doubt you could beat that youngster with the Ratata over there."
"But I have a strategy!" Ash said.
"Pikka Pikka chu!!" (translation: I am not a boy Pokemon! I am not a girl Pokemon either!)
"Come on Ash, your strategies are made-up crap. We all know you pay off the Gym Leaders before your battles." Misty said. "Today you'll get to meet a real Pokemon Master. I doubt he'll take your money."
"Awww, I'll show you guys! I can beat him!"
Twenty Minutes later, Ash began the shortest and most humiliating battle of his career. Also his last.
"I'll start out with Pidgeot!" Ash yelled, releasing the large Flying Type bird from its Pokeball.
"Go, Vaporeon!" Tony Katum, the Leader of the Sapphire Gym, exclaimed, releasing an abnormally large-for-its-species blue aquatic canine.
"Pidgeot, use--" Ash began, but Tony was faster.
"Icebeam," he said simply. Vaporeon launched a freezing blast of icy energy. Pidgeot, being far less experienced than Vaporeon, immediately fell to the ground knocked out.
"No, Pidgeot!" Ash yelled like the dramaqueen he is. "Errrrr, I won't lose! Charizard, I choose YOU!"
A scrawny Charizard appeared on the stadium.
"I can see you are an extremely crappy trainer, Ash," Tony said. "I'll try and give you an advantage." He recalled Vaporeon. "Go, Sceptile."
A large saurian Grass Pokemon materialized on the stadium. It rolled its eyes at the wimpy Pokemon before it.
"Slash," Tony commanded. Sceptile leaped at Charizard and cut a gaping hole into the dragon with a bladed leave. Charizard fainted.
"No! Alright, time for my most powerful Pokemon; go, Pikachu!"
Tony fell onto the floor in hysterics. "Alright," he said through laughs. "Go Donphan!" Donphan came out and attacked without command. He used a single Trunkslap. Pikachu was launched into the air as if it were shot out of a canon. It flew out of the roofless gym and into the ocean. The competing Trainers saw sharp dorcal fins break the waters surface and the Sharpedoes began a feeding frenzy on the gay mouse.
"That's it!" Ash said through tears. "I'm never battling again. And I'm giving all my stupid Pokemon to those crazy Sharpedoes!'
"Finally," Misty muttered.
"'Bout dang time," Brock mumbled.
"Pika-Pika-aaaahhhhhhh" Pikachu screamed in pain from the ocean.
(finally) THE END (of Ash)
unknown OLD SCHOOL thread
man i was awful at posting
able
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