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Thread: The Purge

  1. #1
    Exceptionally Ordinary Fox's Avatar
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    Default The Purge

    So, I feel the need to rant about this movie. Normally bad movies don’t faze me, but this made me so angry.

    For those who don’t know what I’m talking about:


    Now, this seemed like a really interesting concept to me. Crime is legal one night of the year? Holy shit, how would that effect everything? Let’s go se the movie and find out. Biggest waste of $10 ever. When the commencement of the Purge was announced, they were all “crime is legal, including murder.” Why stress murder? Does this mean rape is legal? Or sex trafficking? Or terrorism? They hardly elaborated on how the Purge would affect anything on everything.
    “Yo the economy is flourishing”
    “Oh cool, how?”
    “We kill homeless/poor people because they can’t protect themselves.”

    WHAT? First of all, all emergency lines are cut off for 12 hours. So when the Purge is over, millions of calls will be flooding in about all the needed medical attention. Don’t you think the funding for all those paramedics and policemen would put that “flourishing economy” in the shitter? Second of all, the basis to the storyline is this: Some hotshot security system sailsman (who sells “the best security system in America” which, making a show of his success hogs up the first 20 minutes of the film) and his family are attacked by a band of literally psychotic rich people. They got in because the security system the fucking main character sells “only works because it looks impenetrable, it’s not meant to actually withstand some pummeling.” WHAT? Clearly the rich aren’t as safe as they think they are if the best security system is useless against actual attackers.

    Speaking of the storyline. There’s this rich family, right? Trophy wife, hotshot salesman, moody teenage daughter, and seemingly mentally unstable preteen son. I mean, when the son is first introduced, he’s playing with this half-melted babydoll that he fused to an RC motor. There’s also a subplot in which moody teenage daughter is dating a pedophile, and they will stop at nothing to prove to her dad that their love is real. Okay. So on the night of the Purge, the boyfriend gets passed the suuuuper great security system and is all “imma kill your dad so we can be together” but then the dad is like “naw bitch” and kills him and the teenage daughter is all “omg dad you’re ruining my life I hate you” and runs off to her room. At the same time, the son lets in a random black male yelling for help, disarming the security system. Then, best part, this random bunch of rich college kids in odd plastic masks pop up and are all “we want the black guy just cuz hes a bum and doesn’t contribute to society.” Instead of giving this stranger who means nothing to them up, they decide to do the NOBLE thing and fight back against 15 psychos with guns and machetes and whatnot. Who, by the way, start doing the weirdest fucking things ever. Like swinging in slow motion, making out with their masks on, twirling around on the grass. When they storm the house is the best. Their creepiness was just so out of place and awkward. This one bitch was skipping through the house waving a knife around. Then she jumps the trophy wife and starts TICKLING her before she holds a knife up to her.

    And then there was the audience I was watching this piece of shit movie with. I live in Indiana, so the statistics of audience members for a movie like this is about 40% hick that proudly displays merchandise with the word “’MURICA” on it, 40% black people that scream at literally everything, 19.9% douchebag group of friends constantly on their phones and yelling “that’s what she said!”, and .1% people who have proper movie-viewing etiquette. (Quick story about the one funny comment someone shouted: as the main psycho guy stabs the dad in the gut and kills him, he lays him down on the pool table, kisses his forehead, and thanks god for their “nation reborn.” Upon seeing this, a black guy behind me muttered, “Shit nigga, das gay” so bluntly that I just cracked up.) So, at every killing, no matter how brutal or awful, there was a loud roar of applause and fists thrust into the air.

    I don’t know why I expected this to be a well-developed, clever-concept movie, because it was made by the creators of the Paranormal Activities/Insidious, but I was really disappointed. I thought it would be like some V for Vendetta shit, all about putting a dent in the country. But no. Don’t see the Purge.

    Anyway, I’m curious to hear what your thoughts would be if the Purge were actually a thing. For one night a year, crime is legal. All emergency lines are cut off or 12 hours. Government officials are off-limits. Also, what would you do the night of the Purge?
    "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
    But in ourselves, that we are underlings."
    ~


  2. #2
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Default

    Yeah, my friend wanted to see this, and I said "no", so we saw the new star trek instead

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