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Thread: I have a story to tell

  1. #1
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    Default I have a story to tell

    So i'm using the tv downstairs in my house. Find out it's not working so i go back upstairs to use a different tv. My room is too hot (been heating up in my area lately) so i go into my parents room. I turn the tv on and there's porn going. The film was titled "My First Big Black One" and it showed some girl getting nailed by a black dude. It's not the first time i've been reminded my dad has a porno stash. I saw the vcr was running so i figured to turn it off and act like it never happened.

    I turn the vcr off but the video is still going. Go figure it was one rented off of tv, and using my logic i decided my dad was recording this movie while he went back to work.

    Now i have quite a dilemma. Father will figure out his movie didn't record for some reason. When he notices that he'll know that i know and i was the cause of this. Awkward times are in my future.

    The good part? Makes for a funny story. The nice part is my dad can't really say shit to me. It's porn. You can't berate your son for ruining your movie that your wife would probably kick your ass over anyway.

    The strange part is my dad is a huge racist, so why he's watching black cock is beyond me.

  2. #2
    Revolting Mex's Avatar
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    This reminds me of the time I found lube in my parent's room, but only a little
    When the Devil is too busy
    And Death's a bit too much
    They call on me by name you see,
    For my special touch.

  3. #3
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    KY?

  4. #4
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    Maybe he is extremely sexually attracted to black men so his subconscious makes him act like a racist as a coping mechanism to deflect suspicion. Your father is a latent homosexual, which is also possibly why he smokes marijuana.

  5. #5
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    You know if he was gay i wouldn't be surprised. He likes the manliest shit possible and tries to be Alpha Male in the herd that is life.

  6. #6
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    that and he has a moustache. you need full facial hair to not be gay these days.

  7. #7
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    Next time you see him, drop a pencil and see if he looks at your ass when you bend over to get it.

  8. #8
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    he could be gay but not incestuous. that is an outrageous claim!

  9. #9
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    Ass is ass to the gays. He might not pound it, but he'll have a look.

  10. #10
    Street Justice Hero Fullmetal's Avatar
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    Well no one would blame him. I have an attractive ass for a male.

  11. #11
    Registered Users Regular Walrus's Avatar
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    just be glad you didn't walk in on your dad beating his meat while recording that movie.

  12. #12
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    My stepdad has a MASSIVE porn stash. A filing cabinet of it. No less than 50 tapes. Back in 5th-7th grade it was a huge attraction, my friends would bring people over "YOU HAVE TO SEE ALL THIS PORN!!!!!"

  13. #13
    Revolting Mex's Avatar
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    eww god walrus. ew
    When the Devil is too busy
    And Death's a bit too much
    They call on me by name you see,
    For my special touch.

  14. #14
    Registered Users Regular Walrus's Avatar
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    so tim, do you help yourself to your stepdad's things?

  15. #15
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    In my earlier teenage years I did, before I had a computer good enough to play videos.

  16. #16
    Furry Authority RedCheetah's Avatar
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    You think that's awkward? Ever have someone catch you masturbating to your own baby pictures?
    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." - Time Enough For Love, by Robert Heinlein

  17. #17
    Registered Users Regular Walrus's Avatar
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    now why the fuck would you want to masturbate to your own baby pictures? are you a nepiophiliac?

  18. #18
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    hes a lot of things

  19. #19
    Registered Users Regular Walrus's Avatar
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    adam, you've never mentioned having any siblings. are you an only child?

  20. #20
    captain of the ship kg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by God View Post
    Ass is ass to the gays.
    he's right

  21. #21
    Revolting Mex's Avatar
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    Kayla, BELOW ME
    When the Devil is too busy
    And Death's a bit too much
    They call on me by name you see,
    For my special touch.

  22. #22
    captain of the ship kg's Avatar
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  23. #23
    Registered Users Regular Walrus's Avatar
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    I like that smiley. Someone add it to the smiley options.

  24. #24
    captain of the ship kg's Avatar
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    i had to kidnap him to put him in my post
    but yeah, i'm a fan of that one. i vote it be put back in. its one of those smileys that shouldn't be used often, but used rarely and to good effect.

  25. #25
    Registered Users Regular Walrus's Avatar
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    Whenever I think of the smiley I always think of Tim and his eskimo posts

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