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Thread: I have never been to a strip joint

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    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Default I have never been to a strip joint

    Because I don't want to spend money on something I find kind of boring. But, my question to you is, if a man goes to one is he cheating on his girl?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    I wouldn't want my boyfriend going to a strip club.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

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    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Well I can see why. But IF he did would you say he was cheating on you?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    No, but I would probably break up with him.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  5. #5
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Why would you not consider it cheating?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    I guess I would consider it "straying" more than "cheating", if that makes sense.

    I mean, he went to a strip club in general, not for another specific girl. I guess it depends on his "activities" at the strip club. What exactly do you imply this hypothetical boyfriend did at the strip club?
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  7. #7
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Well men and women stray, consciously and unconsciously, nearly on a daily basis, hardly grounds to break up with someone for, it's human nature. So how do you define straying and cheating and how do they differ? The hypothetical is that a man walks into a strip bar, and pays to converse and see a woman strip.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    Yes, but he intentionally went to a strip club and paid a woman to strip. That's far from unconsciously straying. That.... approaches cheating actually.

    Honestly though, I wouldn't waste time trying to label it. In my view, it means the relationship he has is not enough for him, so say goodbye and move on. Just saying what I'd do, I'm sure you'll get more philosophical answers from other posters after this, and you can have your debate.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

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    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    I know what the man did at the strip bar but I'm asking you whether it is cheating or not. You said it was "straying" and I ask you what is your definition of straying and how does it differ from cheating. I genuinely want to know and don't think that defining things that ruin peoples relationships a "waste of time."

    Then you imply that unconsciously straying is not as bad as consciously straying, an act you would leave some one for. So another question is what if a man consciously strays by enjoying a look at a young attractive female on the pool while he is sitting on a chair, if you found out that he did such an act would that be grounds to break up with him? If not, is there a degree to consciously straying in your mind that would constitute leaving someone or not leaving someone?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  10. #10
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    it isnt an appealing idea to me but it is silly to consider it "cheating." then "cheating" is sort of a meaningless idea that only reflects subjective feelings about someone's actions. we can define what "cheating" is and then say going to a strip club is or is not so axiomatically. some people will be bothered and some will not. it wont result in an std or getting another woman pregnant, which are basically the reasons "cheating" is bad in a relationship. the other reason "cheating" is bad in a relationship is making your partner feel negative emotions so again it's a case by case criterion.

  11. #11
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Then I suppose we must define what cheating is first to see if going to a strip bar is cheating. How would you define it?

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  12. #12
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    well i dont think there's much of a point in doing so. the idea of "cheating" is basically just about certain acts that are broadly "infidel" that put the relationship at risk. some people will get very upset if their partner goes to a strip club and will have negative feelings similar to another person may have if their partner made out with an ex girlfriend or something. others may be in an "open" relationship and live their lives together as a "normal" couple but not care if their partner has sex with other people. so conceptions are different for different people; if going to a strip club sounds like a good time to you, be with someone who wouldn't mind. same with any other sort of activity that others may or may not feel is "cheating."

    in short, it's a pointless question; if your partner feels something is "cheating," then it is. the concept is all about how people will subjectively feel in regards to certain actions the person they are in a relationship in will take, so it makes no sense to define it axiomatically and work from there.

  13. #13
    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    According to me

    Cheating is when a person has feelings for someone other than their boyfriend/girlfriend, whether they act on it or not, and whether it is a physical or mental thing.

    A guy just goes to a strip club and looks at a random girl, he's not exactly cheating on his girlfriend with anybody in particular. He's just looking at some girl.

    But he is straying from the relationship. The relationship he's in is not enough for him anymore, he has to get his satisfaction from going to strip clubs and watching some girl strip. That's what I call straying.

    And you were the one who said people consciously or unconsciously stray everyday, not me. I don't think people in a relationship would ever find someone more attractive to them than their significant other. I guess it happens, but I for one, would NOT be pleased if my boyfriend was "enjoying a look at a young attractive female". I probably wouldn't break up with him outright on that, but it would definitely cause problems and if he kept doing it then yes, I would break up with him.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  14. #14
    what about .. eyebrows God's Avatar
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    trixie just so you know every man you ever go out with will find certain women more attractive than you and think often about having sex with them, and will look at such women naked on the internet. if you want it otherwise you better start being open to getting with guys like the one who is currently obsessed with you.

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    I'd rather stay single. Which I have for about 3 years now.

    My friends think my standards are too high, but I don't care.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  16. #16
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    If you're expecting to find an SO who never finds other women attractive and never looks at porn/pics on the internet, you're either looking for a vibrator or a really good liar.

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    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by God View Post
    well i dont think there's much of a point in doing so. the idea of "cheating" is basically just about certain acts that are broadly "infidel" that put the relationship at risk. some people will get very upset if their partner goes to a strip club and will have negative feelings similar to another person may have if their partner made out with an ex girlfriend or something. others may be in an "open" relationship and live their lives together as a "normal" couple but not care if their partner has sex with other people. so conceptions are different for different people; if going to a strip club sounds like a good time to you, be with someone who wouldn't mind. same with any other sort of activity that others may or may not feel is "cheating."

    in short, it's a pointless question; if your partner feels something is "cheating," then it is. the concept is all about how people will subjectively feel in regards to certain actions the person they are in a relationship in will take, so it makes no sense to define it axiomatically and work from there.

    Well of course it's subjective, I asked for a definition though not some pseudo-undergrad concept of "morality." What is a definition of cheating you would agree to?

    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post
    According to me

    Cheating is when a person has feelings for someone other than their boyfriend/girlfriend, whether they act on it or not, and whether it is a physical or mental thing.

    A guy just goes to a strip club and looks at a random girl, he's not exactly cheating on his girlfriend with anybody in particular. He's just looking at some girl.

    But he is straying from the relationship. The relationship he's in is not enough for him anymore, he has to get his satisfaction from going to strip clubs and watching some girl strip. That's what I call straying.

    And you were the one who said people consciously or unconsciously stray everyday, not me. I don't think people in a relationship would ever find someone more attractive to them than their significant other. I guess it happens, but I for one, would NOT be pleased if my boyfriend was "enjoying a look at a young attractive female". I probably wouldn't break up with him outright on that, but it would definitely cause problems and if he kept doing it then yes, I would break up with him.

    So you define cheating has having "feelings" (physical or emotional) for someone other than your gf/bf. Are you arguing that being sexually attracted to anyone or at anytime for someone other than your gf/bf, say a movie star in a popular movie you are watching, is cheating? I'm kind of confused to your definition of cheating again because you say that looking isn't cheating if there is no "feeling" but you defined feeling as finding things physically arousing. Can you clarify for me?

    Now your definition in straying seems more straight forward if we don't take your definition for cheating at face value because they seem to be the same right now. My question to you on your straying definition is this, so a man must actually seek seeing things or being in or around places that arouse him to be straying and that you believe that for one to stray he must be trying to find something that fills the void in a relationship he has, is that correct? With this, what if he goes to a strip bar not to fill a supposed void but because his friends have a bachelor party for one of their buddies and he is going just to celebrate the night, not to see the women, would he then be straying?

    And Trixie IF you never "strayed" unconsciously ever in your entire life then you are literally the first woman in the world to ever do so. On average a woman thinks of sex or things that sexually arouse them 10 times a day, this can be brought about by looking at an image on a advertisement to things they read in texts that spark a certain emotion. With this, something or someone DOES trigger a woman to think of sex and the likelihood that it is not ALWAYS her lover is variably high. So, do you find this as grounds then to leave a person.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Also Trixie, I'm not ganging up on you on this I just like seeing how other people look at things. I can say this with personal experience that my gf IS the most attractive woman in the world and when I do "stray" as you defined it it does not mean I think otherwise.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  19. #19
    I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it. Lord's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post
    According to me

    Cheating is when a person has feelings for someone other than their boyfriend/girlfriend, whether they act on it or not, and whether it is a physical or mental thing.
    You're retarded

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave View Post
    So you define cheating has having "feelings" (physical or emotional) for someone other than your gf/bf. Are you arguing that being sexually attracted to anyone or at anytime for someone other than your gf/bf, say a movie star in a popular movie you are watching, is cheating? I'm kind of confused to your definition of cheating again because you say that looking isn't cheating if there is no "feeling" but you defined feeling as finding things physically arousing. Can you clarify for me?
    Okay, I was probably not being clear.

    I did not mean that feeling is finding things physically arousing.

    If you sleep with another person i.e if you are physically intimate with someone else regardless of whether you like them or not, it is cheating.

    If you find someone more attractive to you (and I don't mean just finding celebrities hot or anything, I mean when you genuinely like someone else more than your current bf/gf) and you fall in love/ actively lust after them at the expense of your current relationship, then it's mental cheating. Maybe you didn't sleep with them, but if you're getting close to them, sharing things with them that you're not with your SO etc then it's cheating.

    With this, what if he goes to a strip bar not to fill a supposed void but because his friends have a bachelor party for one of their buddies and he is going just to celebrate the night, not to see the women, would he then be straying?
    No.

    And Trixie IF you never "strayed" unconsciously ever in your entire life then you are literally the first woman in the world to ever do so. On average a woman thinks of sex or things that sexually arouse them 10 times a day, this can be brought about by looking at an image on a advertisement to things they read in texts that spark a certain emotion. With this, something or someone DOES trigger a woman to think of sex and the likelihood that it is not ALWAYS her lover is variably high. So, do you find this as grounds then to leave a person.
    No. Again, I'm not talking about just appreciating attractive people. I think my use of the word "attractive" is confusing people.

    If there is another girl/guy who turns you on more than your SO does, that is a problem. i.e you find someone else more "attractive" in a concrete sense. If your girlfriend's best friend turns you on, or you find yourself thinking about her instead of your girlfriend, that's mental cheating.

    I DO NOT mean idly looking at magazines/movies/porn etc
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave View Post
    Also Trixie, I'm not ganging up on you on this I just like seeing how other people look at things. I can say this with personal experience that my gf IS the most attractive woman in the world and when I do "stray" as you defined it it does not mean I think otherwise.
    You are clearly not straying from your relationship.

    Y'know, I think it's the way I express things. My English probably isn't as clear as it should be to debate on PD.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

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    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solly View Post
    If you're expecting to find an SO who never finds other women attractive and never looks at porn/pics on the internet, you're either looking for a vibrator or a really good liar.
    Did I ever say that? I clarified what I meant a little, but again I say:

    If I'm out with my boyfriend somewhere and he's staring at "a young attractive female" instead of me, I will have a problem with that.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  23. #23
    The One and Only trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord View Post
    You're retarded
    I'm sure I've got everything wrong. Please enlighten me.

    As you see, I'm quite inexperienced.
    Originally made by LM:


    ~ I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it. -- Kyle Schmidt ~

    ~Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings ~

    * dragon_berry**Fallen_Wings*

  24. #24
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post
    you fall in love/ actively lust after them at the expense of your current relationship, then it's mental cheating. Maybe you didn't sleep with them, but if you're getting close to them, sharing things with them that you're not with your SO etc then it's cheating.
    Ok so far so good, I understand the actual physical definition you posed for cheating but I am getting kind of hung up on this last part. Without getting into "what is love" my question is what is "actively lust after at the expense of your current relationship" mean? Men have certain porn stars or anime characters they like to frequent and their is obviously no physical contact in said lusting, would this fall under your definition as actively lusting? Or, are you saying that something is actively lusting if it interferes with the lust you have with your gf/bf. And if so what interference?

    One thing I won't question is your statement that sharing things with someone else that you don't share with your bf/gf. I won't because, again I'm not going to get into "what is love" right now, I am going to take for granted for the sake of this conversation that a part of the definition of love is sharing oneself fully with another and that love "should" be monogamous, as I would assume you would believe Trixie (not that I don't), then sharing yourself to one and not another is cheating emotionally.

    Now to your "straying" definition.

    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post
    No. Again, I'm not talking about just appreciating attractive people. I think my use of the word "attractive" is confusing people.

    If there is another girl/guy who turns you on more than your SO does, that is a problem. i.e you find someone else more "attractive" in a concrete sense. If your girlfriend's best friend turns you on, or you find yourself thinking about her instead of your girlfriend, that's mental cheating.

    I DO NOT mean idly looking at magazines/movies/porn etc
    So, you define consciously "straying" not as being able to appreciate beauty, say a young woman at the pool and getting aroused, but rather IF you find the young woman MORE attractive than your gf in a "concrete sense"? It seems to me that sounds similar to your previous definition to mental cheating and I understand that definition already.

    So what is consciously straying then because your definitions seem to me that there is no difference to mental/emotional cheating and consciously "straying."

    With this lets take a step back and look at your definitions again:

    What is emotional cheating?
    What is mental cheating?
    What is consciously "straying?"
    What is unconsciously "straying?"

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

  25. #25
    In reverie, I felt you holding me. Dogar The Brave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post
    You are clearly not straying from your relationship.

    Y'know, I think it's the way I express things. My English probably isn't as clear as it should be to debate on PD.
    Try your best, you know I never cared about any of that sort of thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by trixie View Post
    Did I ever say that? I clarified what I meant a little, but again I say:

    If I'm out with my boyfriend somewhere and he's staring at "a young attractive female" instead of me, I will have a problem with that.
    And I don't think you feeling annoyed by that is a bad thing. I just want definitions to the way we see others actions is all.

    Your an absolutely wonderful man, any girl that is yours is lucky and I know that from personal experience. ~KMT

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