Lately I've felt rather introspective and it's been alright, because I've developed a cool, calm sense of mental clarity in the last three or four months, like an accepting of who I am - as if I've become one with reality. Whilst this has enhanced how I view myself in hundreds of different ways and, judging from how people have been receptive to me and general feedback, how my peers have too, there's been an incredible drawback where I find myself unable to accomplish feats I would have been able to about a year ago. I'm talking about things I could have only pulled off with either a) a ridiculous amount of self-confidence or b) a complete lack of social awareness. I sort of feel if I got that same sense of delusional recklessness back whilst being able to see things as clearly as I am now, life would be very good indeed. Life's great though, I'm a high-functioning alcoholic coasting through the first year of a human sciences degree, pulling really really ridiculously good looking girls and making loads of new great friends, as well as finding myself engaging in these really, really, really, really, REALLY weird but-at-the-same-time awesome social adventures.
Like two of my friends and I were drunkenly wandering around town at around four in the morning after a night out, find a vending machine on the side of the road, went over to it and two of us bought some drinks. Then my other friend (who was very, very drunk) couldn't find any money so we asked a girl if we could borrow some money from her as she walked past. She said no problem and then we went back to her apartment for hot chocolate.
This is the type of life I lead, it's pretty much the definition of the Irish dream.
Have any of you guys ever dealt with the natural phenomenon of becoming better looking or just generally more attractive? It's occurring to me presently, I'm noticing. I was always extremely popular and fairly good looking (and modest, haha) but in the last few months my face has been clearing up (acne-wise), I developed a pretty good fashion sense just in time for university, and I've been hitting the gym hard and I've been trying very, very hard to expand my social circle and the way people receive me is incredibly different indeed. It's like I'm noticing all of these subtle nuances and engagements in conversation with boys and girls, as well as the way people generally treat me and look up to me, and always want to be around me. And other stuff too. I'm thinking of writing an essay about it or something. Can any of you guys relate?