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Thread: how do you get interested in people?

  1. #1
    Registered Users Regular Rayne's Avatar
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    Default how do you get interested in people?

    whenever i meet new people i dont give a shit about them. its not because im some sort of misanthrope, but when i lack knowledge about a person i cant bring myself to care about them unless i come across some tidbit of their lives that i find interesting. because i dont care at the get go, i dont even try to engage them in conversation to get to the point where i learn enough about them to BECOME interested in them, thus its sort of a vicious cycle. at various points in my life ive attributed this to a mixture of social awkwardness and introversion, but ive realized that im actually not socially awkward at all and if i am an introvert then shying away from starting conversations with people and avoiding social situations has stopped me from developing relationships with a shitton of possibly cool/interesting people. i guess the simplest solution is to just force myself to break the ice with as many people as i possibly can but id rather somehow teach myself to WANT to do it rather than struggle to put myself out there.

    thoughts?

  2. #2
    *wink* leo33wii's Avatar
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    the reason why i socialize is pretty much figure out ways to make me happy. sounds horrible putting it that way, but i enjoy going out and doing things, but i don't like doing things alone. so i want to spread the fun that i have with others.
    lately i haven't been doing that since shit has been hitting the fan constantly...

    but learning about people and how they tick interests me. their stories and how i can help them make me want to learn about them.
    Leo 3DS friend Code: 0344 - 9299 - 0936

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  3. #3
    Vanity of vanities, all is vanity Hicky's Avatar
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    put yourself out there, 'introversion' as a concept is fraught with problems and isn't as concrete as you might think. i used to be an 'introvert' but then i started doing things and talking to people and now people think of me as an 'extravert'.

  4. #4
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hicky View Post
    put yourself out there, 'introversion' as a concept is fraught with problems and isn't as concrete as you might think. i used to be an 'introvert' but then i started doing things and talking to people and now people think of me as an 'extravert'.
    That's because introversion-extroversion is a spectrum. Few and far between are people who are completely introverted or extroverted, usually they're mentally ill.

  5. #5
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    I had this problem too, Rayne, when I started University and didn't know anybody. Here's a few tips:

    - Alcohol
    - Make lots of (tactful) jokes
    - Listen to people tell you things. People LOVE being listened to.
    - Alcohol
    - Asking about majors/classes makes for some good icebreakers
    - For reals, don't be afraid to just put out a hand for shaking and say, "Hi, my name is..." As long as they're going to be sitting next to you for at least 20 minutes, this is a perfectly valid tactic.
    - Alcohol
    - If you already have done friends, try working on strengthening your bonds with them instead of meeting as many people as possible. They'll eventually invite you to parties and get-togethers where you'll naturally meet more people.
    - Shave
    - Alcohol

  6. #6
    Registered Users Regular Rayne's Avatar
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    solly im not socially incompetent. i have a fair number of friends and a large circle of acquaintances. i dont find it difficult to engage people in conversation. my problem is that i dont really want to and dont put myself in situations where i am forced to (stay away from gatherings, dont party that often even though i conceivably could, etc). its like how i enjoy posting on internet forums and i would enjoy being able to post on more active message boards but the inertia of finding one, getting to know people, etc dissuades me.

  7. #7
    Registered Users Regular Rayne's Avatar
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    an example would be the other day when i was with a friend at the post office and he ran into somebody he knew. i could have conceivably gone and introduced myself and created a new connection but i hung back and buried my head in my phone, not because i was incapable of making conversation but because i didnt care enough to.

  8. #8
    Registered Users Regular Rayne's Avatar
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    i dont even know what to call this - social laziness?

  9. #9
    Registered Users Regular Rayne's Avatar
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    all the same alcohol seems like a good a place as any to start

  10. #10
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    Like I said, "Hi, my name is..." until you get used to it.

  11. #11
    Registered Users Regular Rayne's Avatar
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    yeah youre probably right. incessantly force communication till it becomes second nature. also drink a lot. great life advice.

  12. #12
    This pic is definitely of me!! Solly's Avatar
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    That's Western social norms for you.

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    princeso Kirby's Avatar
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    this thread is beyond my comprehension

  14. #14
    *wink* leo33wii's Avatar
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    i masturbated today and came over almost everything... i mean, you can kinda do the same... just talk about something random and hope to it hits off on everyone
    Leo 3DS friend Code: 0344 - 9299 - 0936

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