Kardossino presents a bunch of odd questions
OK, these are some questions that are about those little things that don't make sense. Enjoy
1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "Insufficeint funds" when they know there is not enough money?
3. Why does someone beilive you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterlized needles for death by lethal injection/
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
10. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are alway white?
11. Is there ever a day where mattresses are not on sale?
12. Why do people constantly return to the refirgerator in hopes that something new will have materialized?
13. Why do people keep running over string a dozen times with their vaccum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vaccum cleaner one last try?
14. Why is it that no plastic bag will open on your first try?
15. How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures
16. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart and then apologozes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
17. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knowc something else over?
18. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
19. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And as little bonus...
20. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends-- if they're okay, then it's you.
Plagiarism is not respected, Exo. I suggest you delete this.
I didn't realize someone had made this before, and I can't delete this!
Wait.. I thought I saw this list before. But you're missing one of the lines that I remember, so Maybe this isn't plagiarized.
good, because I didn't plagirize. Solly, you know I'm not that type. I post in the RP board so much i don't think i would know what to plagiraize. (And I can't spell plagirize that well, either)
lol, where did you get this from?
1. To exercise our fingers
2. If they weren't sadistic, they would never have opened in the first place.
3. Cos they can't go to space to count stars, can they? Look around, the paint at your bum is wet.
4. If it had stuck, it wouldn't have been created in the first place
5. To kill you the legal way
6. He's a girl
7. Ratio of size of revolver to bullets 1000:1
8. To make it seem like an accident
9. A lisper
10. Because bubbles are always white.
11. The day before mattresses were invented
12. With mum around, nothing is predictable
13. The cleaner deserves a second chance, poor thing.
14. Because if they did there wouldn't be a second.
15. The fixtures are carnivorous.
16. cos it's obvious that it hurts. Stating the obvious is dumb.
17. Two for the price of one. what a good deal!
18. Opposites attract.
19. It was the father in law that made the jokes.
1. Because somehow our subconscious knows that the little remote fairies will respond if you jam down your finger repeatedly.
2. Bankers are evil. Nothing more.
3. You obviously can't be trusted.
4. I use my psychic powers to keep it in place.
5. The man needs to be healthy when he's dead. Prison funerals would be fun if the man looked like he was dead, instead of being alive and a menacing serial killer, now would they?
6. He does, but when they found him, they shaved his head so that he wouldn't get stuck in trees whenever he jumped in the movie.
7. Because the rifle could give him a big bruise and a concussion. I duck when I have a revolver thrown at my head.
8. So that they don't die before they hit the target.
9. A very wise man who's name shall not be mentioned.
10. Actually, it is now known that bubble baths make you hallucinate, making it only seem like the bubbles are white.
11. Yes, it's called "No mattress sales event day", in which the couch people provide discounts.
12. Haven't you ever heard the story of Little Timmy Widershins?
13. Because now they know that the vacuum cleaner can't pick it up, so they torment it.
14. It's a conspiracy made by the plastic bag manufacturers, in an attempt to send you to insanity. Their reasons why remain unknown.
15. They materialize through. Jeez, what have you been doing during biology class, paying attention?
16. Being polite is the key to finding a magical genie, Exo.
17. It's not actually you that's knocking the item over, it's magic.
18. Because it's colder?
19. The only thing fathers in law do is sit around, drink beer, and burp.
20. I've heard this joke before. In fact, I've heard all of 'em.
Originally Posted by Ninetails 009