Last edited by oldKelsh; 10-13-2007 at 06:33 PM.
Please tell me how to improve it cause i suck.
okay, first of all: your sentences are run-on sentences. you don't use commas or anything. paragraph is all smushed up. double space after everyone talks and stuff. your story kind of has no point. please look at other threads for ideas, cause it's not that good.
no offense, i don't mean to pick on you. i know your trying your best, but fics shouldn't be written in two seconds. sometimes, you should take the time to make it perfect.
Pairs:Kingdra, Hikari :D
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