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Thread: Bad Porn

  1. #1
    A magical adventure Brave Auron's Avatar
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    Default Bad Porn

    Ok.One day I was over my friend Connor's house, and his mom was stoned and told us to go watch porn in her room. Now, Showtime has some of the worst soft porn garbage I have seen in my life. Take for example, the series "Stories of passion". I mean, one of them is about an old hag who rubs ointment on her body and that gives her the power to pretend to have sex with people. Exactly. All of the credits were female names, so that explains how horribly terrible it is.


    But number 8 was definatly the worst TV show I have seen in my life. Its starts off with two chicks talking to each other in terrible russian accents.

    First girl: Tell me a story of your past.

    Second girl: Well, in the future, there is a city of men where they are forced to make videos of themselves masturbating. The women are not allowed to love according to Code 466.

    It just gets even worse from there. One scene is of a guy with eyeliner and a painted body who scratches the ground. Another of a guy named Yosef pretending to jerk the terkin with a rose petal.

    The whole time it is narrated by a woman with the worst Russian accent I have heard in my life. Her words are choppy and instead of love she says laugh.

    But the best worst scene has to be when the narrator falls in love with one of the guys beating off. The guy then blind folds her, and she starts scratching the floor (this is a motif). They begin to pretend to have sex, which is terribly simulated (apparently the guy has a penis coming out of his chest).

    But the terrible narrator completes the shittyness. "Imagine the feeling of having no senses yet feeling ultimate pleasure"

    Then, because she broke the law, the lady is taking to a jailcell, which is just an area that is fenced off. The whole time she is naked and old people watch her. Then one of the police officers (who wears a doorag and ski goggles) taps on the face and goes "Grr". Which then the narrator says in an emotionless voice "They tried to break me"

    But, finally, we get to the last scene. The women spits (barely) on a police officer, and he takes off his goggles and drags his hand over his face for 5 minutes (yet there was no spit on it). Then she is saved by another women, and the narrator says "A women's fantasy is a women's fantasy playground"

    WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

    If you have Showtime and its still on On demand, watch it, because you will be giving a new perspective on life.


    JOCKO HOMO

  2. #2
    Advanced Trainer Nocturne's Avatar
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    Default

    that sounds like some sort of sci-fi Aeon Flux porn

  3. #3
    A magical adventure Brave Auron's Avatar
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    Default

    its horrible garbage.

    Anyways, post your experiences with bad porn here.


    JOCKO HOMO

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