TA is too busy touching himself and writing his FFX review, so I'm gonna do this for him. Plus nothing gets into the archives unless it's a list or stolen or involves someone else's ideas. It will be exactly as TA described it to me, done in his perspective.
Chapter 1: Short History, Long Timespan
It was my second birthday. I was dressed in my sailor suit and I'll be damned if I wasn't the sexiest little 2 year
old on the block. I had just finished my little birthday cake and gotten cleaned up when I was given a gift. "Oh, great, another stuffed animal." I thought to myself as I held the blue and white creature. "Is this a cat or a bear...I can't tell. Kinda weird looking too." I tossed it aside with my other animals, picked up my Snoopy doll and my blanky and proceeded to look cute for the remainder of the day. Little did I know just how influential this stuffed animal would be. For the next 7 years he would live in my closet, for the most part undisturbed. He spent those years plotting, thinking and building.
I woke up one fine morning and decided to take a car ride with my mother to pick my sister up from kindergarden. I grabbed a random stuffed animal for companionship and hurried into the car. This is when I discovered Mr. Milk for the first time. "Hello, I'm not sure we've been acquainted properly, my name is Mr. Milk." the stuffed animal said as I buckled my safety belt.
"Hello Mr. Milk. Tell me, are you a cat or a bear?"
"I'm both. The other stuffed animals asked me the same question, they are lovely chaps."
"I'm glad you think so, how is life with the stuffed animals?"
"To tell you the truth it's rather dull. Or at least it was until the creation of the laboratory."
"The one in your closet. I constructed it some five years ago to perform experiments in my spare time. Recently however I had to quit my job as a salesman and devote my full attention to it." I was rather shocked. Mr. Milk had more the demeanor of an engineer than a lowly salesman.
"A salesman? What did you sell?" I asked with keen interest.
"I dealt mainly in pharmaceuticals. I did well for myself and got enough funding for my lab to be constructed. I had to quit however, the contract with DuPont is keeping me too busy to worry about sales, and they're offering more than I could ever pull in on commissions."
"What types of things do you do in your lab?"
"At the moment I've discovered a form of anti-gravity that can be harnessed and used as a means of propulsion, but I've come under harassment lately."
"A yellow balloon, Hubert, he and his balloon friends have been making threats and harassing my staff endlessly for a week now. Dog, my head of security, assures me that nothing will happen on his watch but I'm not sure. TA, could you look into it when we return?"
"Of course, Mr. Milk."
Upon returning to the house, I rushed to my closet. What I found was nothing short of devastation. There were signs of forced entry, a stuffed animal with a knife in it's chest, and sirens going off from inside the lab. Dog rushed out the door to meet us, firing his taser at an attacking balloon. "Mr. Milk! Hubert has taken the lab, he's reached the control center and reprogrammed security." Dog said while reloading his taser.
"Has everyone been evacuated?" Mr. Milk questioned in a calm tone.
"Yes, the balloons are all inside. I have grim news, Mr. Milk. I managed to get ahold of the radio frequency they're using and intercepted a message, they referred to their base of operations in Africa."
"Mount Kilimanjaro..." Mr. Milk's face grew pale. "I've had my suspicions, but if Hubert's managed to find a way to use the natural power of the volcano who knows how extensive his base is."
"It's troubling, sir. What about our current situation however, what are your orders?" Dog's expression was troubled. He knew what was coming.
"Activate the self destruction device." Mr. Milk said.
"You're going to blow up your own lab!?" I cried.
"Relax, it's insured." Mr. Milk motioned for me to follow as Dog shouted a code into the radio. Moments later the sirens fell silent and the sound of balloons popping filled the air.
"The lab is heated to 150 degrees centigrade, I don't think we'll have to worry about anything escaping." Mr. Milk said. He lead us to a secret clearing where a small craft was located. "I'm afraid this is as far as you can go, TA. This craft is experimental, I only designed it to carry two people. I'll deliver it to DuPont and try to scare up enough to reassemble my lab. My scientists and employees are scattered to the four winds however, and Hubert's after every damn one of them."
"Why is Hubert trying to sabotage you Mr. Milk?" I asked.
"Why indeed. We were amiable for the longest time but then he disappeared for a while. When he returned he was more aggressive, more dangerous to have around. I eventually banned him from the lab and I haven't seen him since, though his balloon followers are always kicking around."
Mr. Milk climbed into the craft where Dog was already seated. They waved me farewell and flew off into the sky. I went downstairs for lunch, we were having cheese and crackers with apples.